You are all missing the point.
Trees are not a “problem”, but rather an untapped resource.
I mean look at them, millions, nah billions of them just sitting there, none of them are generating a penny for our billionaires.
Imagine what our glorious billionaires can do if we allow them to just chop down all those trees? Think of all the beautiful toiler paper for our collective asses, as well as the billion of bibles (including a copy of the constitution) that they can sell to us for the low low price of $65.
And as an added benefit, getting rid of all those trees will also eliminate the problem of forest fires. You can’t have those without forests in the first place.
To be sure, some forests will need to be left alone, specially those close to residential areas, but not for the reasons that you think.
We need those forests to actually burn down, hopefully taking down those houses next to them. Why? Think about it. If all those houses burn down then we can use those trees we chopped down elsewhere to build new houses, a BOOM for the construction billionaires. And also, it means that houses next to those forest that can accidentally burn down will have to have an increase in their insurance premium, we can even make it so that forests close to houses have a private company to fight forest fires, think of all the benefits for billionaires.
Once you start thinking money, it all makes sense
I need this in the style of Trump.
I tried asking ChatGPT to roleplay as Trump and repeat it in it’s own words, however it gave me back the same near-verbatim. I think this proves that the original text wasn’t far off
Listen, folks, you’re totally missing the point here. Trees aren’t a problem; they’re an incredible, untapped resource.
Look at them—millions, no, billions of trees just sitting there, doing nothing. They’re not making a single cent for our amazing billionaires. Imagine the fantastic things our billionaires could do if we let them chop down all those trees. We’d have an endless supply of beautiful toilet paper for everyone and billions of Bibles, plus a copy of the Constitution, all for the fantastic price of $65.
And guess what? By getting rid of all these trees, we’d also solve the problem of forest fires. No trees, no forest fires—so simple.
Now, we’ll keep some forests, especially near homes, but not for the reasons you think. We need those forests to burn down sometimes and take a few houses with them. Why? Because then we can rebuild those homes with the trees we chopped down elsewhere—a huge win for the construction industry. Plus, it means higher insurance premiums for homes near forests, and we can even privatize forest fire services. Think of all the benefits for our billionaires.
When you start thinking about the money, it all makes perfect sense.
I hate that my brain rambling are that close to ChatGPT’s output.
Trump rambles like an insane asylum resident literally every day and nobody bats an eye
Biden forgets a couple names and has a bad throat and everyone loses their minds
Here’s the thing. For trump, the insane ramblings are a feature, not a bug. For Biden, we need people to turn up and vote for him, and normal sane people don’t want someone who seems checked out.
Comparing them is not even reasonable at this point, and Trump’s supports are not reasonable
I full agree on not wanting someone who’s checked out but it’s literally we eat the shit sandwich or we lose democracy.
I don’t understand why this is the only shit sandwich who can win. There is no indication that someone who can’t even string together a coherent speech is our only hope. Replace him with someone who is, at least, coherent.
Because we need a primary to vet candidates. The bad shit comes out in the primary. We weed out the people who seemed great on the surface yet ended up having issues. Just ask leading Republican Presidential candidate Rhonda Santis.
This late in the game there are also a number of non-political things that would go very badly if we switched candidates. It’s too late from an administrative perspective. A replacement candidate can’t create and launch a whole new Presidential campaign in a matter of days.
Then there’s funding. Biden can’t just give all his campaign funds to some other candidate. People donated that money to Biden’s campaign; there are rules on how that money can be spent.
These are just a few examples of many issues.
It would be an absolute mess in ways that most people have not fully considered.
Then the Republicans would spin the scramble for a new candidate as incompetence of the party as a whole - a rare instance of them making a good point. No way voter confidence increases once all factors have come into play.
