- cross-posted to:
- chronicillness@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- chronicillness@lemmy.world
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This happened to my wife and I recently.
We came for a visit and her usual doctor wasn’t available. This new doctor flat out said, “I didn’t get a chance to read your medical history so tell me what’s going on.” My wife was confused, because this was her third visit to check her hormone levels. it wasn’t a checkup, but a followup.
And this doctor proceeds to not understand any of this, as she keeps asking her questions about why she might be there, instead of spending two minutes reading the medical history.
My wife ends up crying while Im sitting in the corner begging my wife we should just leave because shes not getting anything from this doctor.
Like George Carlin said, somewhere there is the worst doctor and someone has an appointment with them tomorrow!
What do you call the person who was last in class at medical school?
…
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DoctorHaving been a paramedic for many years, I’ll take the 80% med student over the no bedside manner, no common sense, overly bookish student who can only think about what the book told them.
Goldilocks zone, wins again!
I would think that those types are better suited to research or other medical professions that don’t interact with patients like imaging or something.
They certainly are yet med schools only accept the “brightest” many of whom are this type.
This is the third time I’ve read this comment today. I hope Joe Pesci or the sun aren’t trying to tell me something.
If Carlin’s ghost has one message for any of us, I’m pretty sure it’s “don’t be fuckin stupid”
someone, somewhere, took the biggest dump on earth today. someome somewhere sometime took the biggest dump ever taken by a human
It’s a valid strategy to ask the patient to recap what brings them to the clinic. It’s very common to hear a different story from the one in the booking system or in the medical history. I’m not sure about the system were you live but medical history often takes waaaaaaaaaay more than 2 min to read up on. Maybe the last visit was recorded and had yet to been transcribed? Those can be a pain to listen to. It feels very reasonable that the doctor didn’t have time to read up on your history if they were covering for a sick/unavailable colleague.
I would 100% prefer a doctor that is upfront about not knowing my medical history over a (more commonly occurring) dumbass pretenting to know it.
It’s regrettable that your doctor made you feel neglected. Fault them for that, not the questions.
Edit: *recorded as in dictated!
Medical clinics are often overbooked, like airports. This is why they give you an appointment time that is generally thirty minutes early. ONE late person fucks the entire day’s schedule after their appointment time, that’s how tightly management insists on arranging it. Even the extra time slots of the past are being booked or even double booked in advance of the day. Docs are often given 10-15min per patient. Those other rooms you see in the hall? There are patients inside waiting for doc to go down the line, as staff keeps refilling those rooms down the line as the doc finishes. You think there’s time to read between? Oh you sweet summer child. That’s not on docs, that’s on corporate. Whatever company logo is stamped on the clinic and also on the nearby hospital, they’re the ones making it happen that way. Why? More patients crammed into each day means more $$$. Quantity over quality. Clinic docs are also paid by patient encounter. So this works together to arrange what we in healthcare commonly call a clusterfuck.
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This is the part that’s probably messing with you most. And it likely won’t change. In medical, the assessment is sacrosanct. And your own. You MUST do it yourself. You don’t just go with the assessment of the first person to do one and never check again, you always check again. Always. Every visit. A lot can change in half a day. A day. A week. A month. And the quality of assessment changes with each person. Each person. Medical isn’t robots, it’s people, and most data collection happens through people. Each medical staff, doc or NP or RN or PA, gets their own assessments before they begin, unless they’re utter garbage at their jobs. This doctor never assessed you before, which means, they MUST assess you now, per their licensing. Also, a good chunk of what’s in the chart is old news. What’s right in front of you contains the best data about the patients present state. And the speed at which a clinic is to move from patient to patient, 2 min to read a chart isn’t part of the schedule. Even logging in these days can take half that 10min time slot due to old crappy computers. Sure stuff like moms medical history, what tests you’ve had already, and meds (pharmacies e-record talks to your medical e-record these days) is current, but your present state changes day to day and asking YOU what’s happening today is usually best practice and the most accurate. There’s no day prep time to a clinic day and no one takes “homework” home after work. It’s hit the ground running and just start diving into appointments. When the doc knows the patient already ofc this goes more smoothly because the doc knows the bigger picture. That’s why there’s an assigned doc for each patient.
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All the NPs being trained makes the process more difficult. Heavy revolving door there as they do their version of residency and then poof they’re gone to find their actual job.
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Wait until you’re admitted to a hospital from an emergency room, you’ll be in for a real treat. /s.
For-profit medicine is a cruelty unlike any other. The United States government’s embrace of this system is truly abhorrent.
Somewhere, dunno where, there is a country where doctors in state medical institutions make less than me, get bullied by superiors daily, deal with all kind of bureaucratic paper fuckery, and yet show the heroism of not leaving that work for greener pastures in private medical institutions which pay normal. And they are conscious of that. Cause sometimes lonely old people, or clueless\lost\just poor people, or someone unprepared, need help.
Your system might not be good, but if you are thinking of building some other one, please think how it’s going to make doctor’s pay proportional to their value for the society, without tanking the rest of said society.
I would probably also end up crying if I were in that situation. A panic attack is also not outside the realm of possibility.
cops if you’re quick 🤣
I quit my job yesterday cause it fucking sucked.
I’m sad because no money but that place was a hellhole and it was making me miserable.
I need this encouragement broLooks like someone walked right out of their own flesh.
Came here for this
The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US because the system is so fucked. If the doctor is terrible, sit it out, and then request to never see them again. You don’t even have to say why (if/when the scheduler pressures you, just blame the free market: “my care will be better managed by someone else”). Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.
But also, make sure you have good reason to not like the doctor, regardless of financial implications. A doctor giving you bad news or making an honest but unflattering comment is an easy situation to want to leave, but bailing on that situation is not a good solution.
I’m not trying to say one should never take a stand, just that they should make sure of their reasoning before doing so.
Yeah, walking out would be more reserved for “why are you wearing that mask, don’t you know the pandemic is over?” or “don’t get (that vasectomy/your tubes tied, I know that you’ll change your mind later”.
Just basic science denial shit, or shoving somebody else’s culture down your throat while trying to pretend it’s compassion. Stuff that no competent doctor would do in the first place.
Oh of course, 100%. I wouldn’t suggest changing from providers for reasons other than really botched/mismanaged/negligent care. I don’t think everyone wants to give a reason to a scheduler for the switch because honestly they don’t need to know, and I would assume the patient is having conversations way above a scheduler’s level about any issues with a provider.
HeAlThY aT aLl SiZeS
Idk “I’d rather you exercise and focus on a more nutritious diet than focus on a number on a scale or your pants. Let’s focus on getting you healthy so we aren’t just trading one eating disorder for another” is both the original meaning of that concept and probably the best approach for a doctor to take
Fat doctors telling you to exercise to lose weight 🫤
No they’re telling you to exercise because it’s necessary to maintain cardiovascular and muscular health as well as playing a role in endocrine regulation. Because it’s critical to a healthy lifestyle and it’s difficult to do.
The point of my comment was that there are elements of heath that are vital and associated with weight loss that are better separated from it because if you think of exercise as a “weight loss thing” instead of a “important element of a healthy lifestyle no matter your weight” you will be less healthy
The plus side is exercise does help regulate the endocrine system which can help you lose weight
Yet the doctor is fat, they explicitly say the exercise is for weight loss, the knowledge hasn’t helped them.
I’ve been told at one office that they didn’t allow patients to switch doctors within the same practice. Currently, I live in a very small town, and am on Medicaid. I’ve been trying to switch to the only other practice in town (my current doctor has made 5+ screw-ups with medication, and has declined to write down my information and make requested referrals), but they’re dragging their heels. So I’m not holding my breath that it will be any better. Anyway, I guess my point, apart from the rant, is that the system is even more fucked than you say.
Hey, I’ve heard that one before, and big surprise, it was told to another Medicaid patient. It’s a lie that means “we don’t want our practice potentially making less money.” The provider probably doesn’t even know you were told that. I wish the gnarliest of 8th-dimensional waking nightmares on every admin who enables that bullshit.
Some areas are lucky enough to have Kaiser. It’s just a quick click and you have a new doctor of your choice. Though the rest of Kaiser is falling to shit
I was lucky enough to have Kaiser
And now I have a permanently fucked up knee because of them
I’ve seen more people swear at Kaiser than swear by it.
Limper Permanente
Because if you don’t like your healthcare in the US, you certainly can leave, but you will be stuck with the bill, and if it’s considered leaving “against medical advice,” you will be denied insurance coverage if you return for the same issue.
Insurance is just a pain in general in the U.S. For instance some people might struggle to find a new doctor in their area if they’re dealing with a specialist and have specific insurance coverages which means cutting off their toxic doctor might be more difficult.
Burning bridges to escape toxicity is fine, just don’t strand yourself.
The doctor’s appointment is not a great example for the US
It’s a terrible idea for the first world too, as our system was overwhelmed by Mah Raghts hillbillies begging the doctor for a miracle and physically threatening them for trying to treat the problem. Many medical staff left from all branches and levels of care because Fuck This. Now we’re stuck with very little service availability, and the very politicians who supported the aggressive halfwits are now convincing them it was the incumbent politician’s fault. and they’re believing it. We’re gonna be led by little Trumps next year.
But remember most of all young adults: If you find yourself leaving often then the problem might be with you…
While true and valid, also remember that your community can be a problem, or you might be suffering from systemic issues. Not all issues stem from individuals, and some are impossible to solve on the personal level. If you find yourself in the cult, for example, walking away is probably the best you could do, despite the scorn of the community.
That is true and equally worth pointing out too. I sometimes find it hard to distinguish between a heartfelt life lesson versus a platitude dressed in its Sunday best.
If you’re seeing your 5th counselor and 7th psych because you don’t want to make lifestyle changes and simultaneously want every stimulant to keep you up and downer so you can sleep… well… You’re not fun to be their doctor for.
On the plus side at least the doctors are not willing to enable those who will not help themselves out too
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Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the movie?
Colonel Sandurz: Now. You’re looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now, is happening now.
Dark Helmet: What happened to then?
Colonel Sandurz: We passed then.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now. We’re at now now.
Dark Helmet: Go back to then.
Colonel Sandurz: When?
Dark Helmet: Now.
Colonel Sandurz: Now?
Dark Helmet: Now.
Colonel Sandurz: I can’t.
Dark Helmet: Why?
Colonel Sandurz: We missed it.
Dark Helmet: When?
Colonel Sandurz: Just now.
Dark Helmet: When will then be now?
Colonel Sandurz: Soon.
You can leave Elon’s personal edging chamber too you know?
Can you? He likes to sue people who do that.
Learning to deal with unpleasant people and situations is part of growing up. It’s often better to grin and bear it, learn something for future you, then never go back.
OTHO, it’s a valuable message. You don’t always have to put up with the bullshit and should just bail.
So which is it? Well, figuring that out is an aspect of growing older and wiser.
On the hand other
As long as you don’t mind burning bridges*
But why maintain bridges to places where you don’t want to go?
An objectionable acquaintanceship may be reconcilable.
The person leaving might not be objective in a situation and might realize that they miss the metaphorical bridge.
A person you dislike might be a valuable resource in other ways beyond social (especially in the referenced example of a medical professional).
Things change. For example:
- burn a bridge at a company w/ a terrible boss - boss leaves and is replaced by a much better manager, but you have no shot because HR is still pissed at you
- burn a bridge w/ a date - you end up working with that date and they remember how rude you were and end up making things suck for you
- burn a bridge w/ a doctor - doctors tend to be friends w/ other doctors, so other doctors may choose to not bring you on
That doesn’t mean you should let people walk all over you, it just means a little professionalism goes a long way. If you can’t stand your boss, give them a reasonable notice that you’re leaving. If your date is late, send them a text saying something came up and can no longer wait for them. If your doctor sucks, thank them for their time and ask for a referral for a second opinion, or if they take too long to see you, tell the front staff to cancel your appointment on your way out.
You don’t have to put up with nonsense, but you should handle it as gracefully as you can, because it doesn’t cost you much and you never know if it’ll end up mattering.
Because it’s a small world. You could very well have to interact with former colleagues again or have your behavior shared with others.
There are ways to extricate yourself without causing offense.
“Oh, I just remembered. It’s minnow season.”
I have to return some videotapes
I quit a toxic job a few months ago. Scariest thing I’ve ever done. Best decision I ever made :)
It’s easy to quit something toxic, but how do you quit something where all people are well-meaning and friendly and trying to help you, but you are autistic and they simply don’t understand what that is? (And you also don’t know you are autistic yourself yet)
That was my first uni where I dropped out at winter.
I feel you, I dropped out of community college twice before I learned enough about how my brain works to finally find a program I could complete. First quarter: 4.0, second quarter: 0.0. Both times :(
Wester Governors University, an online program, was perfect for me and my ADHD. I didn’t finish quickly, or as cheaply as I had hoped, but I was able to finish.
Yeah, I’m still almost there, literally have only the final thesis left.
It’s Russia and online programs here are generally not very good, and this attempt is night school. But maybe I’ll do that before turning 29, ha-ha.
That’s amazing, against the odds you’re rocking it :) I’m rooting for you!
Right?! That shit IS scary. Crossing the fucking rubicon.
May I ask why? And if i might, why?
I quit without a plan. I just knew I was done and that was that.
The best you could do. Quit toxic things and/or people.
A couple years ago I rage quit a gaming session (during a break) with “Whelp, I’m gonna go do something I enjoy.”
My teammates understood. They were all very good at the game and I was not. I kept getting absolutely trounced, and was bringing them down with me.
It’s now sort of an in-joke/phrase we use unironically when the vibe is off but we still like our friends.Erin with the tits is right
Erin St. Wits Ex United Airlines is her full name I think.
I’ll wait till my doctor close my operation wound thank you.
Same for toxic family.
this should be made more clear to all patients of all ages, throughout life. they can’t force you to do anything, or do anything to you that you don’t want them to do
Nope. In medical, you educate and advise, the patient decides. Then it’s documented and you move on to the next patient.
In diabetes this is often seen as a foot that is now getting amputated after years of noncompliance with medical advice, but again, all you can do is educate. People decide their own actions for themselves.
My wife hates that I do this because it absolutely burns bridges, but fuuuuck these people
Doctor makes me wait 30-45 minutes 3 visits in a row? I’ll walk that third time the second it hits 30m (you got charged for being that late so why couldn’t I charge them after all?)
Job interviewer more than 5 minutes late? I’ll get up and walk out of your building without escort, I remember the way. If you can’t be on time to your own building, go fuck yourself
I was at the dentist today. Second time they made me wait more than 30 minutes. Aside from that they asked for a much higher payment than I agreed to just one week earlier.
I got up and told them I’m leaving and they can keep the money. The apologized profusely and convinced me to stay. They did get me in and out very quickly after that.
I doubt I will go back for the second half of the work.
Also happened when I took my 5 year old son to the dentist. The doctor’s policy was that no parents are allowed on the treatment room. I told my son to get out of the chair and left. Turned out that dentist was trying to put fillings in teeth that would fall out before fillings were even needed.
