This is privacy, not piracy

Ah, ok, I found the emoji auto complete. It doesn’t look to be something we can alter. You can use a different front end though (see links in the instance sidebar). They will have different behaviours for emoji

What client are you using? We do have custom emoji, but the default lemmy interface doesn’t do emoji auto suggest like that

Not yet. And it’s still being maintained, but only half heartedly, so it will work until it doesn’t. The dev is looking at migrating to PieFed if they can move their backend lemmy DB over, and that will kick things off again, but with a PieFed focus

Thanks for the heads up. I don’t use it anymore since we got tesseract installed. Will get it updated as soon as we can!

I deleted my account before the reddit exodus, when it became clear to me they were heading the way of all centralised social media

The fix for this problem you’re describing will come when white folk no longer have entrenched privilege across the vast majority of our lives.

Going “Eh, my ancestors did it not me, so it’s not my problem” is white privilege. Because white privilege and racism are still problems for folk who aren’t white, who deal with systemic racism at every level of their lives, despite it having nothing to do with them or their actions. The only people who get to say “Eh, it’s not my problem” are white folk, and white folk doing that is a basically why racism continues to remain entrenched.

That’s why some people are uncomfortable. Because they struggle with the unfairness, and don’t want to become complacent about it

Hey. I’m learning Spanish, I’m a volunteer, and I run and cycle on the regular!

Somehow, that doesn’t stop you sounding like a bigot though…

A nice long lens, and patience!

Mostly birds :)

But landscapes and candids get some time from me as well. Lately, I’ve been trying drone photography, but I’m still learning the ropes there!

Honestly, either. Better photography opportunities in a forest (more birds), but a beach let’s me bring out the drone and soak up some heat

Stop trying to tell me my own experience. You don’t experience gender. Stop trying to speak for people who do.

Without this interaction with this external categorization: would you have been able to find anything was “different”?

Yes.

The words I use to describe it would be different. If I grew up on an island of men, I’d have been completely lost trying to understand it, and may never have found the words, but I would still have felt it, because I was already feeling it before I had the words.

Trans people are real. Our experience of gender is real. Those experiences don’t align with yours, but that doesn’t stop them being real. Trans people exist in one form or another, across every civilisation, and have done so through the length of recorded history.

You won’t find a “gotcha”. You won’t make other folks experience match yours, just because you don’t understand theirs.

I don’t know, I would not say that I knew automatically when I was born what’s the difference between “man” and “woman”.

Nor did I. For me, it came around the same time I started to understand gender and sex. The more I understood it, the more I knew it was wrong.

To me, “man” and “woman” can’t be labels that go beyond the social/behavioral because I don’t know what it feels like to be a man anymore than what I know it feels like to be a woman…

For me, it was initially tied in the physical. I knew my body should have been different. I wished it was different. I dreamed, prayed, hoped and fantasized that it would be different. It was an awareness that I was “like them” with girls and “not like them” with boys. I knew it was wrong when I was grouped with boys.

That’s what it felt like. Not an understanding of others peoples experiences, but an understanding of how my own sense of self was at odds with both my body, and the assumptions that my body created in people.

For someone who doesn’t feel gender, then of course you aren’t going to understand the experience of folk who do, anymore than I can understand what it’s like to not feel it. All I can is that analogies about colour aren’t particularly apt here, because it doesn’t work like that. My gender doesn’t exist because of shared consensus (although it is shaped by that consensus). My gender doesn’t exist because I was able to understand other peoples experiences. My gender is just something I’ve always felt, and that I’ve tried to make sense of over the years. I describe it now in clear, defined terms, but when I was younger, it didn’t work like that. I knew my body was wrong, but the social stuff, the gender stuff? Finding the words for that would take decades. But even as I said, I was finding the words to describe an experience that was always there.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the term, but what you’re describing is similar to the experience that many agender folk describe.

Suffice to say, I experience gender very differently to you. I’ve “felt” my gender since before I hit puberty. Before I had the words to understand it, before I knew what femininity or masculinity even were, before I experienced my sexuality…

btw I am not downvoting you

My instance doesn’t have downvotes, so it makes no difference to me. They’re disabled precisely because they get

My argument is that the discussion around the nature of sex is irrelevant to promoting transphobia. The far right (English-language or otherwise) will find something else to latch on to.

Yes and no. I transitioned 8 years ago. Before the current wave of transphobia had settled on us for politcal gain. And transphobes were around then. The same arguments were around then. However, the only people who used those arguments and the only time those discussions came up, was when transphobes were talking about trans folk. What wasn’t happening then, was regular folk, unconnected to the trans and gender diverse community, weighing on on what their opinions on sex and gender were. Mostly, folk didn’t even distinguish between sex and gender.

What has changed since then, is the politics. And yeah, the politicians didn’t come up with these arguments out of thing air. They didn’t create the transphobia. But what they did was popularise and normalise it, and that is the reason that a Ukranian is arguing with an Australian, about the actions of a transphobic American.

The fact that you (and I) are having this conversation, or that you’re even aware of the topic enough to have strong opinions on it, is absolutely shaped by the transphobic political environment around the world.

Forget Ukraine, what about say Pakistan or India or Uzbekistan?

That’s the point I was making! You’re talking about sex using absolutes. I’m saying there are no absolutes. Sex has multiple definitions, some are cultural, some are physical, some are genetic, some are medical, some are legal. And they all overlap, and they often contradict each other. There is no clear cut definition of sex that can apply a consistent standard. The cultural contexts you highlight are actively a part of the reason that is so!

You are welcome to disagree with me and say I am wrong in my understanding of the binary nature of sex. It is what is. I am just trying to show you that my worldview has a level of nuance and it’s not a mere matter of wanting “neat solutions” while ignoring the weaponization of this discussion by the English-speaking far right.

To be honest, your reasons don’t matter. What matters is that you are parroting the arguments actively used by the transphobic folk, in a time when trans folk are facing ever growing abuse. The fact that you think you have good reasons for holding those opinions doesn’t change the fact that in this environment, choosing to share those opinions, especially in the context of arguing with folk actively pushing back against transphobia, isn’t harmless.

deleted by creator

What makes me a woman is that I’m a woman. It really is that simple and has nothing to do with stereotypes. Stereotypes influence the way we express ourselves and our identities, they influence our behaviours, and the language we use. But they don’t determine who we are.

I would be trans on a desert island. I would be trans if I was raised on an island of men and had never seen a woman. The language I use to talk about my identity would obviously be different, and even the way I understand it would be different, but underneath it all, I’d still be trans, even if it manifested differently.

And that’s what I’m getting at. Sure, I’ll argue that the fact I use the word “woman” is based on the social context in which I was raised, because gender is at least partly socially defined. But the identity that I’m describing with that label, that exists at a level below social norms, and below stereotypes, even whilst being influenced by them.

I’m a trans woman. Before I transitioned, I wasn’t feminine. I never experimented with family members makeup or borrowed their clothing. Even now, 8 years after coming out and transitioning, I’m still not feminine. No one looked at me after I came out and said “Oh, it all makes sense now”. I don’t wear makeup, I don’t have my ears pierced, I’m loud, argumentative and competitive. I ride an illegally overpowered fat tyred monster bike, and I’m happiest in a tshirt and jeans.

Yet I’m still very much a woman and very much trans.

Of course, many trans folk do embrace gender stereotypes, but you need to understand, that is “after the fact”. For some folk, it’s simply a matter of protection and ensuring that their gender doesn’t get denied them by society. For others, it’s a source of joy, being able to embrace something that they were not able to explore earlier in their lives. And for others, it is inherently tied to how they experience their gender.

But for all of us, it is not our gender, even if it is strongly connected.

Yeah, no, that’s not how being trans works.

I don’t believe that gender relates to stereotypes.

I’m a trans woman. I don’t “get” femininity, and to me, when I perform it, it feels like a performance. It has zero to do with my understanding of my own gender.

I’m still very much trans.