• Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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        6 months ago

        No. It’s not appropriate to take someone’s joyful conversation about their experiences and shift the focus to you and your past trauma. It’s an incredibly shitty thing to do.

        To be clear; The previous comment was not a response to OP, it’s a response to people that overshadow/intentionally bring down other peoples happiness with their past traumas. Like the humanoid character in the image did.

        An alternative to having lazers shoot from your eyes.

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          6 months ago

          It’s not appropriate to take someone’s joyful conversation about their experiences and shift the focus to you and your past trauma. It’s an incredibly shitty thing to do.

          Correct. That’s why I called it oversharing and rude.

          Calling it victimizing someone is just overreach, especially without significantly more context. Comparing being annoyed at something someone said online that was thoughtless and rude to being a victim of someone is trivializing IMO.

          • Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca
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            6 months ago

            The context you are missing is that these interactions aren’t limited to strangers or the internet, and typically form a pattern of regular behaviour vs just a one off comment.

            A person is a victim of and suffers from the effects of their own traumatic experiences and instead of learning to deal with them and heal, they induce others to suffer some those effects as well; thus turning others into victims of that same trauma.

            It’s not as big and dramatic as a murder, but it’s still victimization.

            • treefrog@lemm.ee
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              6 months ago

              That’s a way to look at it. As a person with C-PTSD it’s not something easily dealt with or healed from because society isn’t that skilled at helping with it, and my brain was shaped by constant bullying and abuse for the first 12 years of my life. Saying I need to ‘heal’ is like telling someone with ADHD they need to ‘heal’. PTSD, for me, is a form of ND. I can learn better coping mechanisms and my symptoms can be more manageable, especially with better self awareness. But there was never a baseline of not having PTSD to heal back too.

              In other words, hypervigilance around toxic masculinity is wired deep into my amygdala, and that’s very difficult to change in a society that doesn’t have adequate tools or resources to help even typical PTSD. Maybe when MDMA treatment becomes available and affordable. I don’t really know the outcomes with it for child abuse.

              Anyway, bringing it up out of context when someone mentions having a good relationship with their (in my case) father, isn’t a trauma response. It would be petty jealousy. And while I have plenty of jealousy of NT people, I agree that bringing up jealousy when other people are having a good time, especially in such a petty unhealthy way, is a dick move.

            • Match!!
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              6 months ago

              I don’t see what you’re saying as being on that page at all (admittedly I did not read the section about victimization in Kazakhstan)

            • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              6 months ago

              I might be misremembering here since it’s been a while since I’ve seen this image make the rounds, but I thought the original artist made this specifically about online interactions (which, now that I’m rereading the image itself, isn’t immediately clear).

      • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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        6 months ago

        There’s another thread I was reading where it was talking about the scientific method, and then someone talked about a religious guy they knew, and then BAM. Next comment was “and my dad did these horrible things”.

        Like it was so loosely related the two comments would have no issues getting married.

        • Ben Hur Horse Race@lemm.ee
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          6 months ago

          hey, its the internet in 2024- if you’re not exactly as sensitive to exactly what I’m sensitive to, and you won’t put my unique perspective in a nearly sacred position, you’re being violent to me and should be condemned

  • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    People can have trauma from their parents, but still reconcile and have a good relationship later on. It is unfortunate when people assume everyone wants to get away from their parents. I would like independence, but rent prices. My parents lived alongside their parents for a long time, and I have a far better relationship with them than they did.

    I am always grateful for my parents and never take for granted how lucky I am. I had serious psychological debuffs at spawn and quite frankly wouldn’t be here if my parents didn’t care about their children above all else. Everyone deserves the love and assistance I got at a minimum. I don’t know how anyone thinks a world of such unequal opportunities could ever have a fair playing field.

    • MindTraveller@lemmy.ca
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      6 months ago

      If you did a good job raising your kids, they’ll be grateful. If they’re ungrateful, you must have fucked it up.

      I don’t see any need to pressure people to like their parents. A lot of people who aren’t as lucky as you feel like society is demanding they love people who never made them feel loved. If they had parents who deserved to be loved, they wouldn’t need to be told to.

      • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        True. I appreciate my parents because I was lucky enough to have parents worthy of love. They don’t expect me to pay anything back. All the payback they want is for me to live my best life ❤