The act itself is an exercise in either selfishness, selflessness, or synchronicity. Tuning into another person while still enjoying your own experience can be very challenging.
Then, there are trust issues. What are your sexual histories? What are your desires or qualms? How will your relationship look after? What if one of you doesn’t like what the other did, said, smelled like, etc.?
Finally, there’s the social element. Are you exclusive? Are you ok with being exclusive? What do you friends and family think of your sexual partner(s)? Does that matter to you? Are you going to have children? Does that matter to you?
Selfishness is great for the sex act, but you may not have sex often. I think it’s the road to truly being an incel.
Selflessness is a great way to get hurt often, but you’ll probably have lots of sex. Some sex addicts turn themselves over to their addiction.
The hard work is in developing a relationship with yourself, your needs, your partner(s), and their needs. Honesty, clarity, and uncomfortable conversations are all a part of the process.
When you find someone to experiment with, and there is ENTHUSIASTIC consent, be sure to be clear about what you’re agreeing to. And, for universe’s sake, foreplay is for everyone. Use protection, lubricate appropriately, and check in regularly whether everyone is still having a good time.
Then, yes. It can be mind-blowingly great.
Remember, you can do everything right and still not end up having the sex. Live to try another day.
Yes. But, also, it’s not.
Let me explain.
The act itself is an exercise in either selfishness, selflessness, or synchronicity. Tuning into another person while still enjoying your own experience can be very challenging.
Then, there are trust issues. What are your sexual histories? What are your desires or qualms? How will your relationship look after? What if one of you doesn’t like what the other did, said, smelled like, etc.?
Finally, there’s the social element. Are you exclusive? Are you ok with being exclusive? What do you friends and family think of your sexual partner(s)? Does that matter to you? Are you going to have children? Does that matter to you?
Selfishness is great for the sex act, but you may not have sex often. I think it’s the road to truly being an incel.
Selflessness is a great way to get hurt often, but you’ll probably have lots of sex. Some sex addicts turn themselves over to their addiction.
The hard work is in developing a relationship with yourself, your needs, your partner(s), and their needs. Honesty, clarity, and uncomfortable conversations are all a part of the process.
When you find someone to experiment with, and there is ENTHUSIASTIC consent, be sure to be clear about what you’re agreeing to. And, for universe’s sake, foreplay is for everyone. Use protection, lubricate appropriately, and check in regularly whether everyone is still having a good time.
Then, yes. It can be mind-blowingly great.
Remember, you can do everything right and still not end up having the sex. Live to try another day.