Image: bingo card labeled “bad at being a person bingo”
For the sake of describing this card through a narrative, the columns from left to right will be letters A thru F, and the rows top to bottom will be numbers 1 thru 5.
Squares
1A: i don’t know wtf is going on
1B: LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY THINGS OMG SHINY
1C: elaborate daydreams
1D: something is wrong but i don’t know what
1E: why is my backpack full of rocks and papers from a year ago
2A: puts things down; where’d it go
2B: scared of human
2C: having a body is weird wtf
2D: is suddenly really good at a particular thing for 3.2 days
2E: i’m tricking people into thinking i’m one of them
3A: am i just not trying hard enough
3B: doesn’t eat; why do i feel bad
3C: error 404 motivation not found
3D: stares at wall for an hour
3E: walks out into the snow without a winter coat
4A: “why can’t you do this?” i don’t know
4B: on second thought that was a terrible decision
4C: time goes slow and then fast
4D: walks into wall
4E: World’s Most Messy Room
5A: sorry i didn’t respond to any of your messages for six months
5B: weird sense of humor
5C: how do i tell if people like me
5D: how are other people so good at talking
5E: idk if i’m coming off as creepy all the time
Edit: I just realized that I absentmindedly relabeled the columns from BINGO to ABCDE. I like mine more anyway.
The one thing I like the least is A2. Seriously, once I had to sleep at a friend’s house because I couldn’t find my key, which was in my pocket all along. If said friend hadn’t been there I probably would have slept outside.
I once put my phone down to help my dad lift something, and literally not five full seconds later had to ask someone where it was.
That one’s gonna haunt me for a while.