EDIT; I can’t reply to everyone individually but thanks for all the suggestions! Opiates are out of the question, doctors here will only prescribe those in terms of absolutely extreme suffering or end of life care. I also don’t particularly feel interested in developing a hard drug habit. Diclofenac and such are available but also only on separate prescriptions, I’d have to visit another doctor for that. I’m well stocked on paracetamol & ibuprofen, and apart from that, lots of ice cream, pudding & soup :)
Also, since a fair few people seem to doubt the veracity of my story, here’s the 22 extracted teeth (the other 10 were already gone in previous extractions).
Damn, man, with all your teeth gone, I guess the universe is telling you it’s time to switch to IV, huh? No more chomping down on the pipe—now you’ve got the perfect excuse to go straight to the veins. On the bright side, at least you don’t have to worry about your teeth falling out anymore—they’re already gone! Looks like it’s all about that gum game now, right?