WALKER, MI—Plunking out a solo as the performance entered its 45th minute, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was reportedly forced to play the glockenspiel at a rally Friday after every musical artist in the country banned him from using their songs. “He started out with some sheet music, but within minutes he was just hammering […]
    • henfredemars@infosec.pubEnglish
      24·
      2 months ago

      It would also require effort and a degree of hand-eye coordination not typical for those in his age group with his degree of mental deterioration.

    • phx@lemmy.caEnglish
      31·
      2 months ago

      Honestly, if this ever really happened it would be one thing that actually might make me want to see such a rally.

    • chuckleslord@lemmy.worldEnglish
      2·
      2 months ago

      Me, a true musician, they’re all just sound sticks you hit. Unlike rain sticks (sound sticks you flip) and drum sticks (sound sticks to hit with)

  • BassTurd@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    2 months ago

    Came for the headline, stayed for the picture, and really enjoyed the article. Well done The Onion.

    • Synthuir@lemmy.mlEnglish
      5·
      2 months ago

      You should really look into their print edition that they just relaunched, then! Really cheap and a great way to support the new ownership.

  • thejml@lemm.eeEnglish
    14·
    2 months ago

    And I’m sure it was the Best glockenspiel performance ever. Professional musicians have likely told him they’ve never heard anything as great.

  • morphballganon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    61·
    2 months ago

    He could always play classical… though that might cause his followers to grow some brain cells and leave.

    • Phegan@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      2 months ago

      I’ve never understood why classic is “smart people music”.

      I like a lot of classic music, but I don’t think it should be considered any more cultured or intellectual than any other music.

  • BigMacHole@lemm.eeEnglish
    3·
    2 months ago

    I’m a Republican who Does His Own Research and The Onion is LIBRUL PROPAGANDA! WAKE UP Sheeple! Kid Rock would GLADLY play at Trump’s Rally! The Onion is the DEEP STATE!