A near-death experience left the actor with a sacred knowledge sure to ruin your plans for the great beyond

  • Mossy Feathers (She/They)
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    3 months ago

    Tbf, while your heart stopped, you brain didn’t. If your brain had totally stopped then you wouldn’t be here. Not saying anyone’s right or wrong, just pointing out that a stopped heart doesn’t mean that you’re fully dead…

    • jordanlund@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      3 months ago

      Which is funny, because when we got married, I paid the officiant extra to do the speech… ;)

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      11
      ·
      3 months ago

      are you really basing your healthcare guidance from an 80’s era comedy?

      still better than american healthcare…

      • Mossy Feathers (She/They)
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        8
        ·
        3 months ago

        No?

        No.

        I have observed that, with enough money, doctors can fix just about any problem you have, except for a dead brain. Can’t breathe? We’ll breathe for you. Can’t digest your food? We’ll do that for you. Heart won’t beat? We even have machines for that. However, if I’m not mistaken, doctors can’t restart a brain after it’s stopped. That’s the one thing that can’t be fixed.

        That said, if your heart has stopped then you’re basically one foot in the grave and will probably die without immediate medical attention (unless you’re like the guy I was replying to, where your heart occasionally just takes a break for a moment). As such, it would be apt to describe you as mostly dead. You’re not beyond saving, but that’s where you’re headed.

        That description reminded me of Miracle Max’s diagnosis of “mostly dead” and so I threw in the gif.

        Happy?

        • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          4
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          3 months ago

          I have observed that, with enough money, doctors can fix just about any problem you have, except for a dead brain.

          Speaking as someone who went to the Mayo Clinic this year, no they can’t.

        • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          3 months ago

          I mean, I mostly wanted to mock our ridiculous healthcare system. It is pretty barbaric, at least when the bills come due.

          • BaroqueInMind@lemmy.one
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            1
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            3 months ago

            Even if you had tagged it with the sarcasm, it still wasn’t a funny joke in the slightest. Try again.