What qualities do you covet?

  • dumbass@leminal.spaceEnglish
    20·
    29 days ago

    That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don’t care if it’s all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      141·
      29 days ago

      What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.

      I’ve met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.

      The people who don’t come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.

      I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.

    • Akasazh@feddit.nl
      4·
      29 days ago

      Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.

      I’m a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can’t really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn’t that daunting as it seemed to me.

      It still not my biggest hobby yet I’m not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
        2·
        28 days ago

        If it was me (which it was), I’d set a reminder and then every time I got a notification, I’d push it off until later. Also, I’d hate my(past)self for making the commitment to have to deal with the notifications.

        • Albbi@lemmy.ca
          2·
          28 days ago

          Ugh, notifications to do something are the worst! My notification to pay my credit card comes up and I’m like, just leave me alone already! I’ll do it tomorrow!

  • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca
    13·
    29 days ago

    I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.

    I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.

  • Flax@feddit.ukEnglish
    141·
    29 days ago

    I wish I was more Christlike.

    No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can’t deny that He is a pretty good role model.

  • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world
    10·
    29 days ago

    Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.

      • insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world
        10·
        29 days ago

        It’s more to do with honesty. If the seller says it’s worth this much and that’s what they need to charge to cover their costs, then I would like to think that’s true because if it isn’t, they’re lying.

        • papalonian@lemmy.world
          2·
          28 days ago

          I think this might be where it comes from for me, too. If you say it’s with x, and I think it’s worth z, I don’t want to insult you or assume you’re trying to scam me by asking for x, but I also don’t want to pay much more than z.

          The concept of some mystical “y” living in the middle is lost to me and it’s socially impossible to reach “y” without me calling you a scammer or you calling me cheap, so no deal will be made today.

  • Emi@ani.social
    9·
    29 days ago

    Wish I wasn’t depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.

  • Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
    9·
    29 days ago

    I wish I didn’t have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don’t want to sell my mom’s TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly

    • cheese_greater@lemmy.worldOP
      6·
      29 days ago

      I don’t think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.

      Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?