• Soleos@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    It’s a good response, which I hope they’ll receive genuinely. But when someone responds with a two-part treatise, my suspicion is that it’s usually not about you, so I wouldn’t take it as a personal scolding.

    What I often see, autistic or not, is that people often respond to broader issues reflected in the wording and framing of an individual comment and want to respond to that. This is fair and acceptable as long as one differentiates which part is responding to the individual comment(ator) and which part is the broader issue.

    Ironically @SaphiraGrace, while providing great information about autism spectrum, has made assumptions about you and your own experiences by lecturing you about not making assumptions, rather than asking you about what you meant.

    Still this is in context of neurodivergent folks getting the shafted end of assumptions in general, so I must respect that. It does demonstrate though that reflecting on our own assumptions and treating each other kindly is something everyone must practice if we are to be responsible for how our behaviour impacts others, whether we’re neurodivergent or not.

    • Focal
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      2 months ago

      I appreciate that a ton, honestly. Thanks for your comment.

      I did definitely learn something here though, but am also left with a lot of questions. I dove into the ICD-11 to read more about the diagnosis.

      Didn’t find much about the differences in nuance regarding masking to fit into society for neurodivergents and masking to fit into society for neurotypicals, but I’m sure I’ll find more soon now that the question has been formulated.

      Anyway, thank you again. Helps put my mind at ease :)

      • Soleos@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        For sure. And your job is deeply important and anyone who takes it seriously, with kindness and an open mind, is aces in my book.

        Re: masking, my ignorant hot take would be that the difference is less about a difference in kind of masking rather than a difference in the amount (frequency, duration, intensity) of masking. I’d say society places much higher demands in cognitive load from masking on neurodivergent folks overall compared to neurotypicals, because neurotypicals will often naturally behave in socially acceptable ways… because what’s socially acceptable is often defined (not exclusively) by what is typical.

        • Focal
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          2 months ago

          That definitely makes sense to me. Thanks for bouncing ideas like these with me :)