My daughter is 5 now. She’s discovered the joy of telling jokes. Unfortunately, her repertoire is painfully small. I’ve also realised most of my jokes are either not age appropriate or too situational.
What are best/worst kids jokes? Extra points for any that would make her teacher groan. Apparently she LOVES jokes. 😁
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Why are chickens so cool?
B’caws
Knock knock
Owls
Owls whoo
Yes they do
Q: What’s brown and sticky? A: A stick
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
You’re making a good owl!
My parents told me this was my favorite joke when I was around your daughter’s age. Apparently I used the joke non-stop and my parents still laughed every time because of how much I cracked up at my own joke.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Aww don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s There?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could Yodel!
There’s a dad jokes lemmy!
dadjokes@lemmy.world
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh
What do you call a fly with no legs? A walk
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea
shouldn’t that be a fly with no wings ?
Love the deer ones lol
Yes!! I said it wrong _’
whats long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
what’s long, blue, and sticky? a blue stick.
ive found kids live this due to the misdirection and then doubling down on it.
What’s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and you’ll find out!
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because it didn’t have any body to go with
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
Wow, I’ve heard both of these with different punchlines:
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Lettuce out, it’s cold in here!
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Because it didn’t have the guts.
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A big hole was dug at the police station. They’re currently looking into it.
Why do firefighters wear red suspenders? Keeps their pants up.
My favorite clean joke, what do call a ship on the ocean floor that twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why’d the cookie go to the hospital?
He was feeling crummy!
What’d the envelope say to the stamp?
Stick with me, kid, we’ll go places.
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff.
Bah-dum-tsss.
Two nuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
My kiddo loved that around her age.
That does not sound very age appropriate
What’s inappropriate about a salted nut?
It’s offensive to people with hypernatremia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypernatremia
Hypernatremia is a high concentration of sodium in the blood for people who nut often.
Symptoms include weak knees, sore arms, and a salty taste in the mouth.
lmao
I don’t get it
Nuts often are salted. A salted, assaulted.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.
5yo love gross humor
They definitely do!
Is your refrigerator running? Yes? Better go catch it!
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Cause his mommy got stuck in a jam.
Yes, let’s get the kid started with dark humor.
It was either that or a washing machine.
