“Confusing children during pivotal construction of their identity.”

Discovering and accepting your identity very much is what transitioning is. According to general society being born as a specific sex implies that identity. In everything from hobbies, clothing, friends. But what if you realise your identity does not align with what your sex implies? Even if it’s something small like a 15-year old boy who likes knitting. That aspect of their identity goes against the implied or expected identity that is based on their physical sex. Is the boy confused because he likes knitting or because what he’s been told what his identity should be doesn’t mesh with who he is?

“Suicide causes for transgender teens is often reported as bullying or bigotry, but not often reported on the lack of support for dysphoria and other mental health conditions.”

How are transgender teens supposed to get support for dysphoria if they are instead isolated? In my experience dysphoria isn’t something you just talk to a therapist about and then it’s cured. It’s the horrible visceral feeling I got whenever I was forced to wear a dress shirt. What fixed that? Not wearing a dress shirt. The freedom to wear the clothes that make me comfortable.

“A lack of stability in life often leads to chaotic life altering decisions, sometimes self harm and death.”

My life wasn’t more stable before I knew what transgender meant and realised I didn’t identify as a man when I was 19. It was filled with depression, self-isolation, and suicidal ideation. A slow but steady spiral into nothingness. It’s not like dysphoria only exists if we know it exists. Realising I was trans was certainly chaotic. But the reason it was so chaotic was that the identity that had been built up for me was shattered. So now I had to find and rebuild my identity from scratch. What most people spend their time doing from 5-16 I had to do over because I didn’t fit into the identity I was told to build.

I dealt with self-harm. Still struggle with it sometimes. I learned as a kid to bottle up my feelings. Be it regular sadness or stress, or dysphoria. So I began to use self-harm as a way to escape and cope with those feelings. When I could no longer bottle them up. Just like how people drink to drown their sorrows or do drugs to escape reality. I believe I never would have begun to self-harm if I had been able to build the identity I wanted from the start. If I was allowed to cry, or to express myself in ways that help me cope naturally.

Why is the inclusion of people - or teenagers in this case - that don’t fit the pre-existing mould and expectations such a problem? The idea that not everyone automatically fits into pre-conceived notions of what a boy and a girl is, or likes, or does, or acts. Is that such a threat to school or society in general?

Yes we need more help for people with gender dysphoria. But that help isn’t isolation from society. That help isn’t stopping people from trying to figure out who they really are.