E: Da Rules
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The teleportation can only be used to move you.
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Your clothes and basic personal items (the things you take with you everytime you leave the house) will teleport with you, but nothing else.
Can’t I get a return trip? It’s going to be annoying to get a train or plane to take me home.
To nearest Black Hole and die.
The sun.
A snowy, ruralish place in Canada that I love a lot, which may or may not be my home.
“teleport” - How exactly? am I unassembled and reassembled? Or does my body just move there? At light speed? NO THANKS.
What does teleport mean to you? Exactly a me-sized number of atoms shifts places with me? So I won’t burst into flames and leave an explosion where I was?
I end up teleported exactly where I intend to be? Without sight? Without knowledge of that location? In the exact space and time I disappear?
Nah nah nah nah absolutely fucking not. no
If it allowed me to teleport between dimensions as well, definitely moving to that one parallel Earth where everything is peaceful, prices are cheap, and everything is seemingly perfect (except for the lottery system where a small group of people die if they win in a population control sort of scheme). Don’t take a lot of money and your odds of being picked are low.
Though, if it only worked for this world, probably just use it once to get to the kitchen faster at a random time because I can’t use it to get to college because of my class schedule. That, and I’m pretty sure my parents would find it suspicious if I suddenly teleported to a store and called either needing a ride or they cannot find me, especially if I don’t give them a heads up.
I guess to work. It takes me 2 days of travelling to get to work and I have to be there. Assuming I can’t return via teleporting from the moon or whatever. Just save myself a days travel
What’s the nearest planet with an Earth-like atmosphere? Any particular star clusters that have a higher likelihood of harboring a civilization? If I can go anywhere, I’m taking a gamble and trying to find aliens. Even if I fail to find intelligent life, I’m already at a point where struggling to survive on an alien planet sounds better.
Have fun dying from space amoeba.
- Put on gorilla suit
- Teleport to the ISS for the second time
Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we’re about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it’s a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.
Just teleport inside him then. Telefrag his ass.
If that works i guess. I’d hate there to be anti-clipping or something.
Username checks out
Wish fulfilled and you get teleported between two floors and your just stuck like Robin Williams in Jumanji
Actually, let’s make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.
I would predict success, martyrdom (75% chance) and impressive headlines. :D
If you could convince his bodyguards that the main computer of an alien spaceship sent you as a sick joke to prevent nuclear war, they might spare you for bargaining. Whether you’d be spared long enough for revolution to happen and get home - not sure.
As a practising anarchist, I would also volunteer, my everyday items even include several cans of pepper spray, a multitool and a heavy laptop with a detachable battery (to commit some battery).
One way or round trip? That makes a big difference…
That’s part of the fun!
I’d go to the basement of the guy’s mom from that other post about only storing 100GB and steal his 130PB SAN.
Ackshualllly, it was only 120PB, TYVM
The problem would be getting it back out. The post only says 1 teleport, nothing about getting home again.
I reckon that after screwing his mom, I’d sell some of his gear to pay for airfare.
The US house of representatives, just to say “I bring a dire warning from the future”
(they don’t realize you mean Brazilian time zone)
Teleport myself into Putin to do the world a favour
Imagine being the one who has to explain that Putin died when another person burst forth from his body like an alien.
“Look, nobody’s going to believe I just materialized here as opposed to evading your security check. How about we work together on getting out of here by blaming Gerasimov or Shoigu?”
Would it be like a chest burster alien, or more like what Neo did to Agent Smith?
Telefrag from Unreal Tournament
The Fly.
Asking the important questions!
People would assume you used some sort of weird explosive
So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I’d open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.
