I still want to die and I feel like my friends who wanted me to get help are better off without me. Today I was sitting on the couch venting about some car related stuff, than how I was anxious about not getting a job in our new city, than without warning everyone leaves I feel like they got tired of me venting and just left. If I ask they will deny it but I know I’m a burden and I really wouldn’t blame them if they kicked me out if I went to the phycward and lost job. I feel like they don’t want me to die but also don’t know they are better off without me and I’m mentally abusive cause I vent and I tire people out but no one can say anything cause I’m suicidal.
Being real, folks need to learn that it’s okay to interrupt someone that’s venting for an extended time.
Specifically so that you can tell them, “yo dawg, you spiraling. Time to switch shit up and move to positive and healthy conversation so you can boost your mood and get out of the funk for a while”
No bullshit, one of the worst things about depression, anxiety and related forms of mental health that lead to suicidal ideation is that it’s so hard to stop spiraling on your own. But if someone outside breaks into your spiral, and drags you into a different conversation, different activities, you can get temporary relief. That temporary relief can, eventually, be key to success in achieving remission alongside treatment.
My advice? Read that to your friends that are trying to help you. Most people don’t know how to help. They think that venting is something that’s supposed to be listened to rather than used as a short term coping tool that needs to have a limit.
Trust your friends to take this idea and use it in a healthy way.