I still maintain that I absolutely know what I’m doing, and I’m awesome for it. It’s this world that says I’ll get diabetes, and other health issues if I do a handstand hovering over a display of upward pointed sharp knives, eating a bowl of doreoittos as a cereal with no milk.

What? You never heard of doreoittos? It’s when you twist open an oreo, so it’s now two halfs of an oreo. Then you put dorittos in the middle, and then reassemble the cookie.