• BurgerPunk [he/him,comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    No, it wouldn’t be a problem if he said he fucked dudes. The implication though is that “dudes” is a gendered term. The complaint is that she was misgendered by someone who then doubled down on the misgendering. Her statement was not homophobic.

    • Marzepansion@programming.dev
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      1 year ago

      No, it wouldn’t be a problem if he said he fucked dudes.

      I know it wouldn’t be, but making the argument that “you don’t want to accidentally sound like you’re gay” is not the counter argument you might think it is, which is why I was asking her about her intent with that.

        • Marzepansion@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          I didn’t disagree with that, in fact I agree with her response in that regard as I’ve written.

          If that specific argument came from anyone but a hexbear user I would’ve thought some pretty unkind things about the person on the other end, as of now I just think it’s an accidental comment that wasn’t intended, but I can’t not point it out as it’s the exact language that would be used to scare the gays back into the closet when I was in school. “Oh you better not do that, you might look gay”, one I’m all too familiar with.

          There were plenty of other analogies that didn’t involve gay, or fucking men as an apparent negative thing

        • Marzepansion@programming.dev
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          1 year ago

          I agree with that, she clearly isn’t, as her pronouns clearly indicate. I’ve made that pretty clear in my first comment as well, I guess you missed it. That’s not what I’m talking about however.

          My comment is about using “fucking dudes” as a negative example, I’d have preferred if a different example would be used rather than scaring the straight (I assume he is) their possible internal homophobia to realise dude is a gendered term. As there is nothing wrong with fucking a dude, he could be fully okay with that, and that would be fine.

          As the poster’s pronouns are close to her heart, my sexuality is also close to mine, and fighting negative connotations surrounding that is something I can’t stop doing, I do hope you see that.

          • GarbageShoot [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            What they are conveying is that “dude” is clearly not a gender-neutral term, as a straight guy would agree that they “fuck people”, weird as the phrasing is, but not that they “fuck dudes.” It demonstrates that they themselves don’t perceive the social understanding of the term “dude” as gender neutral, not that “fucking dudes” is bad. It could also be used to debate a lesbian by the same token.