Teacher handed out some blank pages and wanted a couple line response to something we were doing that day. I wrote it down and decided I wanted to doodle so I (neatly) tore the page in half and handed in my answer. Got points marked off for not handing in a full piece of paper (my response/answer itself was good). WTH? Since when was that a requirement for such casual assignments?

I used to play a rs private server called hackscape way back in the day, the client was a Java program you ad to run locally, so I threw it on a flash drive and my friend and I would play in our keyboarding class downtime.

Well they found out we were playing, got very concerned we were “hacking the computers” because it was called hackscape, and I ended up getting a week of in-school suspension. I brought this up in another thread, but an interesting extra bit of context, the vice principal I spoke to and had given me the ISS, ended up getting caught with kiddy porn and hung himself in jail a few years later.

Fun times.

Got suspended in 8th grade for “smoking on school grounds” because I stood outside the front door finishing my fruit snacks before I walked into the school (we weren’t supposed to have snacks outside designated food areas). Some rocket scientist of a teacher saw me standing by the door with my hand occasionally going up to my mouth (I think it may have been cold enough outside to make my breath steam) and said, “AHA! This child is smoking!”

She literally grabbed me by my collar and dragged me to the assistant principal’s office. Multiple other kids, and an adult who must have been someone’s mom, told her I wasn’t smoking, but she wasn’t having any of it. And the assistant principal just believed her out of hand. Wouldn’t even let me finish a sentence to say something in my own defense.

They had the security guard escort me off school grounds. And I just stood there for a while looking back at the school, still holding my fruit snacks, trying to figure out wtf just happened.

I pretty much checked out mentally after that. That kind of stuff ended up being pretty much par for the course. I hung out with the metal/punk/skater/stoner/goth crowd, and that was some kind of unforgivable sin at that school. My friends and I were constantly being singled out for minor or imagined infractions and never believed or given the benefit of the doubt. I went from a 3.8 gpa to something like 0.6 that year. I’d have to sit through all these meetings about how I was “so smart,” and how “I could go so far if only I would apply myself.” And I’d straight up tell them what was going on, and they’d be like, “It’s just a mystery why you won’t apply yourself.”

It’s been like 30 years and I’m still mad about that shit.

Calling a Jewish girl jew. Wasn’t derogatory, someone asked if so and so went to the local catholic school with me and I said no she’s a jew. Had to watch Schindlers List and write an essay even tho principal acknowledged the teacher was wrong for thinking jew was offensive. This was in 2002.

I got suspended for kicking my bully down a small flight of stairs. He punched me in the forehead while wearing his father’s knock-off Rolex which slid down his skinny wrist and the dial gave me a small cut which bled quite a bit.

So after he sucker punched me and ran I caught up to him at the top of a small staircase down the hall. While he slowed down to “walk” down the stairs I kicked him in his back sending him flying down to the ground and knocking the wind out of him.

We both got suspended, but I still think that’s total bullshit. If a kid is physically assaulting another kid the one that retaliates should basically have immunity.

Same kid started choking me out from behind during PE one day and since the teacher was looking the other way and I was starting to pass out I threw myself backwards to land on top of him. Immediately knocked the breath out of him again and I got suspended for attacking him again, but he some how managed to convince them that I was the one that attacked him in the first place. So only I got in trouble for that one.

Fuck you Chase. You were a POS in grade school and based on your 35 year prison sentence for theft and domestic abuse it looks like you’re still a piece of shit. Go fuck yourself buddy.

Got arrested for self defence against a bully

fuck the school admin

and ACAB

In 3rd grade (maybe age 8), when coming back from the playground, my teacher had a rule:

STRAIGHT LINE, NO TALKING, NO TOUCHING

One day, when coming back from recess, I noticed that the kid in front of me, Joe, was crying. Now, I didn’t like Joe, he was a bully and had made fun of me and my friend group since the 2nd grade. But I still didn’t like just letting someone sit there upset. So I put a hand on his shoulder and said, “hey, are you ok?”

Thus breaking two of the three most important rules you could possibly imagine. The teacher came over and chastised me for “playing around in line”, completely ignoring Joe (who was still crying). I tried to argue, but to no avail.

Later that day, the teacher made a huge speech in front of the class about how sometimes you think you’re doing the right thing, but you still need to follow the rules, and gave me a citation in front of the entire class.

Also, Joe continued to bully me.

Reading ahead in class. I wasn’t reading ahead, I am just a fast reader. Yes, I really did finish that chapter already. Yes, when you said to read it. No, I’m not showing off.

What kind of teacher complains that a kid is reading too much?

Kid made himself bleed with a bobby pin and during class his girlfriend asked the teacher to talk about something private: while she was out of the room, he yelled, then said I stabbed him with a pencil.

Later on in the Principal’s office, the teacher came to apologize and showed the bobby pin she confiscated that still had blood on the spot where he removed the rubber tip. She explained that she took it from him before class even started because he wouldn’t stop fidgeting.

Even with proof that I was innocent, that worthless racist ass piece of shit Principal still gave me OSS. I genuinely still wish her and that piece of shit kid the worst, 20+ years after the fact.

In 2nd grade the teacher had to step out of the room for several minutes and put me in charge. If anyone misbehaved, I was to write their name on the chalkboard. One group of boys did misbehave, so I wrote down their names.

When the teacher returner, she scolded me for “being a snitch” and sent me to the principal’s office.

I had a shirt with some random kanji and a cartoon anthropomorphized beer mug and cigarette on it (probably said complete gibberish but it was 2005 so who can tell). Anyway, I got chewed out by a teacher about it being inappropriate, meanwhile some other kid was walking around with a literal Jack Daniel’s shirt without any repercussions.

I let a classmate of mine borrow my car. She asked if she could use it to run a quick errand. I was just trying to be nice. I didn’t know her parents had grounded her from driving or that the school had a policy against letting other students use your vehicle. In hindsight it probably wasn’t a smart idea but I was 17 so I didn’t think about it that much.

A simple, “please don’t do that again” would have been more than sufficient but instead I got a two day suspension.

Kindergarten, in a pencil-sharpening contest with 2 girls. Even though my pencil was clearly sharper, they ganged up on me and said theirs were, vote was 2-1. I exclaimed that “girls are toilets”, which was overheard by the authorities. Spent the rest of the day in timeout.

Rhyming words with pitch. I was in 2nd grade. And I wasn’t trying to get away with saying bitch, it’s just a word that my parents used and it popped into my head.

Girl who sat next to me told.

5th grade music (singing) class. We’re practicing a song for an upcoming assembly. It’s cheesy. An excerpt:

We can fight all the evil, we can fight all the hate
If we do it together, it won’t be too late
If we do it together, it won’t be too late

During the song, two adjacent kids start laughing every time it says “We can do it together” because “do it” = “have sex” even though most of us don’t know what it entails at this age, myself included. The teacher glares at them but does nothing else. Several other kids including me chuckle at the scene. This goes on for 3 weeks.

Now comes the dress rehearsal. Today is special because two 5th grade classes are having a joint rehearsal. All of us are a little giddy because there are double the kids crammed into the same space.

In anticipation of getting caught up in the infectious laughter, as the words “do it” approach I hide my face behind my sheet music. Suddenly, the backing CD track cuts out. I lowered the paper from my face she was already halfway to the clown kid sitting beside me. Except… she comes to me. In this abrupt silence she explodes at me, point blank, index finger brandished:

“YOU NEED TO GROW UP! IT IS NOT ABOUT HAVING SEX!”

She singled me out. I was embarrassed.

Only after class did I learn from my homeroom teacher that the two instigators had recently been given a very stern talking to, such that the music teacher thought it was resolved until my hiding face gave her the impression it was not. Thankfully my homeroom teacher understood and I received no further consequences other than all of this living in my head for the next 30 years and forever.