[CW: misogyny] First experience with misogynistic men
I’d like to post about one time when I somehow passed enough as a guy, even though I didn’t bind and overall was dressed more “ambiguously”. It was a taxi driver that was talking to me about women being an objects for sex as if I’d relate. I tried to argue, but overall I have learned defensive mechanism to laugh at uncomfortable situations. Friend told me after that situation that men in general don’t have to laugh if something others have said sucks ass, because men are more allowed to disagree, so I guess I have to unlearn some stuff to deal with it better.
In general, I hate the fact that the more you pass the more comfortable cis men are with saying disgusting shit about women around you, especially since I did (and still am) go through misogyny. I hope I’ll be able to deal with it better in a future.
If you have any tips, I’d be glad to hear, this situation definitely made me use only public transport if possible for a while 😭
Yep. It’s just a part of life running into people like that. Doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, but as you get more experience with it you’ll find your own ways of pushing back. A good comeback is “oh, so you see your mother as a sex object?” or something like that.
I’m 4+ post top surgery and men can be insane. There are some socialization tips out there I’m sure, but I’ve learned most of what I have through working retail.
-
Sounds like you got a dude-ish face so let that mean mug do the talking. Men aren’t told to ‘smile’ and you can be as much of a curmudgeon as you’d like.
-
Men joke cruelly. If you want to push back, frame it like a joke at his expense like, “Man, women are 50% of the population. You can’t catch ass that’s a you problem.”
-
Mirror some crassness back. People open up when you use a similar language and you can have quite a filthy mouth and still be a positive voice for women.
But also-… congrats! Looks like you pass! Mixed blessing?
-
Not trans but I can count on one hand the amount of blatant misogynistic things I’ve heard from friends and/or colleagues within the last ten years or so. Thankfully that hasn’t been my experience.
