Put Saturn back in Saturnalia!
Io Saturnalia!
🪐 IO SATURNALIA 🪐
The candles that keep mosquitos away…?
No no that’s citronella.
They’re talking about the fairy tale heroine with the glass slippers.
No no, that Cinderella.
They’re talking about the bacteria you get from raw chicken.
No no, that’s salmonella.
They’re talking about an ancient upright stone bearing markings.
No, that’s a stela.
They’re talking about people singing without musical accompaniment.
No, that’s a cappella.
They are talking about the lady who wants to make a coat out of dalmatian puppies.
A true return to tradition.
If you ever want to shut down the conversation, just point out that there are over a dozen Christian holidays between Thanksgiving and New Years, and some more devout Christians celebrate more than just the one with the presents and the flying reindeer.
What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.
May the spirit of Satan be with you this holiday season!
I’m still trying to figure out what in my Spotify playlists gave Spotify the idea that i actually want to listen to xmas music.
I need to figure that out so I can dump it.
Sorry, had to do it…
Weird al yankovic - Christmas at ground zero
Right-click playlist, click “Exclude from your taste profile”
The war on Christmas will continue until it’s illegal occupation of fall ends.
Halloween and Thanksgiving must unite to drive Christmas back into the depths of winter! XD
WORD
“Hateful Holidays, everyone!”
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I am really, really pissed off at Christian nationalists stripping away civil rights and the ongoing Gaza conflict, and find nativist songs triggering.
While searching for Christmas carols to add to my playlist I had a temper tantrum and loaded it with anti-war protest songs.
And I am quite fond of God Rest Ye Merry, normally. Too much piss this year.
I’m a big fan of the Scary Solstice albums from the HP Lovecraft Historical Society.
Happy yuletide!
We still say Yule (spelled Jul) where I’m from. No need to cater to religion
Happy Christmas! Merry Holidays!
Merry happy.
Shit, I say merry Christmas and I’m not a Christian. I’m not going to accidentally I doctrinate myself by saying it.
I think my only response to “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” from now on will just be “yeah, whatever.”
Sounds like a purely american problem.
Here in Norway schools force their pupils to attend church right before christmas , even though almost noone celebrates christmas as christians (we call it “jul”).
Every year there’s a fucking debate about how nice it is of the state to force young kids to go to church. All because of tradition 🤷
Isnt Jól Wotanic? I remember something about lighting a giant log in a bonfire and every spark is a promise from Thor of a new lamb.
I could be talking out my ass, informed by comic books.
Around here it was the Vikings that celebrate “julablot” around the 12th of January. What they celebrated is not known, but it involved alcohol and sacrifice.
We’ve kept the name, the alcohol and much of the heathen symbols. Christianity is a small part of it after it was forced upon the Vikings under the threat of violence and death.
I don’t know, even as an American, I see more people complaining about this problem than people who actually act like this. It seems especially worse this year for some reason.
aren’t there presidential campaigns next year in the us? this “war on christmas”(dog whistle for war on christian conservatives) concept has become a rallying banner every christmas since at least 2014 for conservatives. every year is the same. they even complained about cups going from red to green in some fast food company because they thought it was a “war on christmas”.
next year elections so they are ramping up their rethoric to rally their voter fanatic christian voter base.
I’d advise that you do what we Americans do when we encounter those types of individuals.
We say “that person is a weirdo. let’s leave.” and leave. very easy!
If you aren’t spending time around people that complain about it, that makes sense. My mom is normally pretty quiet while my dad yells about whatever political issue, but this is one topic she gets vocally upset about as we’re celebrating Christmas together literally every year. It’s wild
My conservative relatives have taken up the battle against calling it “X-mas.” I have explained ad nauseam that the X is for the Greek letter “chi” which is the first letter in Χριστός (Chrīstós) and it is not “Xing out Jesus from his own birthday.” But here we are.
My mom complains about it and she’s a professed Wiccan, but she watches Faux News all day…
That’s a new variant. My dad’s a rocket scientist who’s managed satellite projects in pursuit of better climate data. Yet he’s a FOX News indoctrinate, a MAGA true believer, and now a climate crisis denialist.
Even those who should know better are susceptible to propaganda.
Manufacturing outrage is extremist Christians’ favourite pastime. See also: witch burnings, the Crusades, and the Inquisition.
They’re desperate for someone to hate and blame.
I think it’s a purely online problem at this point. The reaction to the reaction is always bigger.
Is this really happening? Except a few Fox News clip I’ve never heard of somebody offended by the holidays thing…
When I was a christian, I used to hear people at church complain about it every year. I can’t remember any of them throwing a fit in public about it, though, so it might not have been obvious from the outside.
Well actually, plenty of Christians I knew complained about it on facebook and other social media, which could probably be considered “in public.” You get the point tho lol.
Sounds typical for Christians. They have to actively make things up to be persecuted about, because fomo I guess? Lol
I wish I could say I never experienced the vaguely hostile merry Christmas response when I said happy holidays to someone.
It started a while back when companies stopped saying Merry Christmas and started saying happy holidays so they could be non-denominational. Christians took it as a personal offense, but it’s just companies trying to make money off of non Christians during the holidays. No one individual person actually gives a fuck if someone says Merry Christmas.
Move to Oklahoma, you’ll find people legitamately angry about it.
