Equanimity, a key ingredient of mindfulness meditation, helps people face life’s ups and downs
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A fair question is why anyone would want to be fully aware of intensely negative or painful experiences. But what might sound like a punishing choice—to embrace suffering or distress—may in some instances be helpful. A stream of scientific articles suggests that there are benefits in turning toward discomfort or upsetting emotions with acceptance. In addition, all of us can gain from finding ways to cope with stress and unhappiness—particularly when the circumstances are beyond our control. As a researcher who has studied meditation for more than 20 years, I believe that the cultivation of equanimity, a central element of certain mindfulness-meditation practices, can help.
It’s important to first define the idea of turning toward discomfort. I’m not advocating for people to put themselves in dangerous or excruciating positions. But when we push ourselves into challenging or discomfiting situations, much like trainers who push athletes just past their comfort zone to make gains, learning often happens. Indeed, a 2022 study involving more than 2,000 people demonstrated that the participants who were explicitly encouraged to push themselves into awkward, uncomfortable situations across multiple domains—including taking improv classes to boost self-confidence and reading about opposing political viewpoints—later reported the greatest degree of personal growth.
So while you’re at it, just go ahead and bend over…
If you personally adopt a culture where strength and power is the most valued thing, then yes, inflexibility is preferable. You want to be the one that hurts others, not the one that gets hurt.
But, that is not a healthy trait in all societies and circumstances. It’s very environmental and circumstantial, having to do with personal and social expectations.
One can have toughness and allow vulnerability simultaneously though, and it actually takes far greater strength to do so. Has its rewards, if ones surroundings permit it. Not all do.
I mean, I get that, and I pretty much agree with the premise of the article. But like most things in media, stories like this aren’t really published for the sake of bettering ourselves.