Because I’m an Ohioan who likes Michigan and I have to bully a neighbor. Also because the only place I’ve been to in Indiana since I was a teenager was Fort Wayne and you know what if you decide Ohio is worthless because you keep having to visit family in Dayton fair.

Also because it feels like punching down to mock their government’s decision to bring back AIDS. But I will stand in solidarity with Gary alongside Cleveland, Chicago, and Detroit as the great hellholes of the Great Lakes that actually aren’t even that bad anymore.