Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one “no” is far too many and they’ve decided to try to break into my room. They’re yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also they’re trying to work out how to break into my room?!
I’m in rural northeastern Oklahoma; I’ve got a bit of money (assuming they don’t rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because I’m autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. I’ve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and it’s just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, I’m a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldn’t find anywhere that is. Also I may lose “their” Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to “take back their property” (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, I’ve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know it… blah blah BS). May be able to use my phone… ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they can’t throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldn’t do that, and that the cops wouldn’t help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes who’d just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didn’t get thrown directly into jail nor “institutionalized” for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still don’t know where to go. I’m too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because like… they’ve got a handful of rooms and I’m gonna ask for one because I’m a thirty-something loser who’s broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and they’re throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her but… damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so I’ll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish I’d been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I must’ve just dreamed it all. I think it’s this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess 🤷 (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMom’s lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently she’s going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me I’d like to mention that the new name I’ve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and I’m in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I don’t know if there’s gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday I’ll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea what’s going on out there; haven’t heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. She’s very movement impaired and can’t get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. He’s always been physically intimidating (though not yet “violent”), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if she’s not a factor… he’s a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given I’m afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. I’m very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but there’s just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I don’t eat. I’m not eating anyway so maybe that’s not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I don’t meet anyone’s criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, I’m almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, now’s the time :-\
Long-term: thirty-four years of their “love” being measured in dollars and cents, their belief in children-as-property, their “traditional values.” Threatening me with help to make me afraid of psychiatrists instead of actually getting me help. Hell, I had cancer and they almost pushed me out of going to a doctor for that too. I’d have been dead before my twelfth birthday if they’d had their “Mom is the only help you need”+“It’s probably nothing, walk it off” way. BioMom very much took all’ the “You’re the mom”/everything revolves around her stuff BioDad and I said directly to heart, I guess, and it was always so easy for her to push me around because she knew my mental/emotional difficulties and I didn’t, so when I dare to say “no” to her… bleh.
Short-term: I asked BioDad to take me to a doctor appointment (liver ultrasound) and she demanded to know why, in detail. I said “no.” She started yelling. I fled to my room and locked the door. She sent him to come BS and intimidate me, then came over herself to spout off about how much money they’d given me and how mean and bad I am but they gave me everything and she has a right to know, blah blah blah.
Not sure if any of that is what you meant 🤷 Of course her side of it is “he’s so MEAN to me and always has been but I’ve given him everything he’s ever wanted!” I know this because she just said that to the cops. Problem is, she takes everything she dislikes as being “mean to her,” from someone bumping into her at a Walmart to me thinking unapproved thoughts. When I was considering deconverting from “Christianity” (the “I’ve seen a copy of the Bible once” kind) I had the bright idea (sarcasm) to talk to my dear sweet mom, who I can talk to about anything… right? She took it as an insult, an offence. I dared to question my own identity and worldview but she took it as an attack on her. It wasn’t, I swear. I rarely have anyone actually close to talk to, and I believed her crap about her being soooo important to me and my life and blah blah blah. Anyway, I’ve not been a perfect child for sure, but “no” should not be the thing that sets somebody off. She thinks she owns me. She figures she’s entitled to my entire life because she’s paid for it. I figure if she wanted me to have my own life she shouldn’t have kept it from me. Instead of giving me nightmares about mental health professionals who could’ve explained how freaking hard this world was going to be for me, she should’ve held my hand and walked with me.
Edit: finished a sentence (end of the “short-term” part)