It’s not just run of the mill anhedonia. It’s a removal of an entire support structure.
You nailed it. Now, with half a life-time of trauma, masking and dead-end jobs, it seems there’s no getting those interests back.
if we try to talk about it people will re-orient what we say into their own framework and start making false equivalencies. “Just do X.” It can be a good-natured attempt to understand, or a dismissive invalidation. Either way it gets exhausting.
This right here. So tired of trying to talk to anyone not on the spectrum about it anymore.
If it wasn’t for my spouse I doubt I’d be here. I don’t fit. 40+ years of trying to be a square peg, scrambling to fill in all the corners on demand, has me drained. Nothing I do has ever been enough. I’m tired.
Yeah, hanging on not to dissappoint loved ones, is how I’d put it. Feels all kinds of wrong.
I wish you the best. Truly.
Thanks, to you too.
Been wondering all my life what that employment could look like. I just come up with absolutely nothing. If I lived a century or two earlier, I’d be a craftsman and perfectly happy with it. Today, there’s few such opportunities, you only become one with luck and/or wealth. There seems to only exist too monotonous or too exhausting employment and starting a business is too uncertain for a worrier.