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I think that’s all reasonable. I should make it clear that I would never use futa or futanari to describe anyone without them telling me it’s okay. Effectively, I think that makes it controlled language, ergo a slur.
I would like to maintain that the people who likely made futa and futanari into a slur are not Japanese themselves. Rather, they are American 4chan incel types, who consume that type of media in the first place and who are also transphobic. Blaming Japanese people for a loaned word becoming a slur is ridiculous.
Also, if you were to try to reclaim futa or futanari, it’s probably best to add the honorific “o-” prefix to it. So, it would be お二形 or お二 or ofutanari or ofuta. Kinda silly and it will probably never take off in English use.
Oh no my hundred-pounds-of-c4 vest no don’t detonate