I didn’t take it as you agreeing with them, but it seemed like you were saying it’s specifically abusive behavior if and only if they genuinely don’t get what they did wrong

I didn’t interpret this comic to be about situations like baking an apple pie for someone they didn’t know is allergic to apples. Who would call that “acting really awful?” I interpreted it as when someone does something mean or hurtful, like actually genuinely hurtful that they should not have done and should not do again, and they refuse to acknowledge it just because their intention wasn’t to hurt someone’s feelings. This is how people respond when I ask them to, e.g., stop saying bigoted things or using manipulation tactics.

I think it’s just as (or more) abusive when they know what they did wrong but refuse to acknowledge it

I’d like them to acknowledge what they did wrong even if they didn’t mean to hurt me? It really doesn’t take much