• 32 Posts
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Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 11th, 2023

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  • The other day I ordered a burger and they put tomatoes on it even though I asked them not to. I was about to complain, but decided to take a bite anyway and…huh. The tomato had no flavour whatsoever. I used to not like the taste of tomatoes but how could I object to this?

    So what does this mean? Are my taste buds not functioning like they used to? But I spent lunch looking it up and apparently, there is a fair consensus that tomatoes, along with a host of other fruits and vegetables, really are blander today than when I was a kid. For something I never liked, this kind of works out but…



  • I was afraid it was going to be something like that. But the truth was something totally unexpected.

    What actually happened…

    He asked if he could perform a wedding in front of us?

    We said “Uh…sure?”

    Then he turns around and whistles. Suddenly, half the people at the event come rushing the stage like some kind of a flash mob with a bride and groom leading the way.

    I was just standing there and staring, gobsmacked. Some of the congregation were dressed like furries. The DJs in the booth next to the stage who had been MC’ing for us looked just as surprised but ecstatic. I think they started doing some sort of “Breaking news from your man on the street” bit for their listeners.

    I finally snapped out of it and unclipped my mic to hand it down when the groom started saying his vows. The bride was holding a giant helium balloon shaped like a dinosaur, and when it was her turn, she was struggling to hold it and the mic at the same time. So the groom grabbed it and tucked it between his legs so it wouldn’t fly off. So he was essentially riding a T-rex while she was professing her love and commitment to him.

    In the end, we played them Galway Girl for their first dance after learning the bride was Irish and they dispersed to have drinks and eat ribs.







  • I tried one of those surveys before the last election, and it concluded that I was most closely aligned with the Green Party. Alas, they don’t have a chance in Hell where I am. They are so far off the radar I wasn’t even aware they were fielding a candidate in my district. But it does make me wonder though. If such surveys actually informed how people vote, would the balance of power shift? I think it would help if our voting system (I’m in Canada) changed to something other than first-past-the-post?





  • Ok I’ll spill. It was indeed the fire alarm.

    I heard “CODE RED! CODE RED! Connell 5” coming over the PA. I looked at my wife. “I know we are on the 5th floor. Not sure about the wing?” She assured me it was Connell all right. Ugh.

    I peaked out the door. Nurses and orderlies were rushing past. Then the firefighters arrived in full gear. They initially trudged past us and went into other rooms, but then they turned around and made a B-line for us. They barged in and knocked around the place. Spent a lot longer with us than anywhere else. Then one of them noticed I was holding a camera. “Could I see that?”

    He took the thing apart and eventually pronounced “Yep, this is our culprit right here. The flash set off the detector.” I just remember feeling smaller and smaller and wishing I could disappear into the floor.



  • Oh wow thank you so much!

    I got super busy today and only just got back on now to see the idea seems to have some traction. I will try to post/comment there to get ball rolling.

    I was thinking actually, you could have posts that, like I suggested, describe a strange situation and invite people to speculate on how it came about. But you could also give some sort of narrative that describes the circumstances instead and leads up to a point where you go “…and you’ll never guess what happened next!” or something to that effect.