The narrative that were all very different and could never get on is complete nationalism. Get on a train and explore. You’ll probably be surprised how good the cultural stapling between you and, say, someone who speaks Welsh as their first language actually is. It’s only the little Englanders and Scotsmen who barely leave their home county that act as if we hate each other.

The heck is a “free speech” phone? Very few phones prevent you from unlocking the bootloader and putting whatever software you want on it. The problem is what software do you want?

If you’re concerned about Google snooping on you, first off, get an iPhone. (They are marginally less snoopy, but it’s still not great.)

If you’re concerned about stock android, buy any smartphone and put Lineage or Graphene on it. You can then install Google’s services on it if you want (play store!), but at that point I’d save your time and stick with the normal version of Android that shipped with your phone.

If you’re really concerned about FOSS and having control of your device, put a Linux mobile distro on your phone - see here. Be warned, even the best mobile Linux distros are miles behind Android in terms of usability for the average user. If you want to go all in on open source, get a Pinephone or Fairphone and put Linux on it.

As a note of caution, lots of people (including me) think they want a FOSS device until they have to use one. You can totally go FOSS and fully libre, but it does come at the expense of convenience. I am quite happy with my pixel with stock android and all of the convenience that provides, but each to their own.

Yes, they are great - they are quite vocally neurodivergent and thankfully I’m in a company and culture that is very supportive, accommodating and open about these things.

I think, even without any diagnosis, having this conversation has made me think “hey, maybe I don’t have to be so hard on myself” which, regardless of whether I am or am not neurotypical, is probably a positive train of thought to be having!

I’m sorry to hear about a lot of this. There are other things going on in the background, yes (who doesn’t have baggage, right?). All I can say is long term therapy does wonders and fortunately I’m in the best place that I’ve ever been in.

I’ll have the conversation with my GP, but at the moment I don’t think I want to be on medication if I can avoid it. I’ve just shaken the SSRIs and I’m not super keen for any more weird side effects!

Thank you for this - I can relate to this and it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone!

Especially with parents. My parents are, in my opinion, both textbook cases of undiagnosed ADHD (especially compulsiveness and hyperfocus). Yet they are both against any form of label that might define you as “different”. Not in an oppressive way, more a "Does it matter? You are who you are regardless” way. It’s probably not been helpful for them or myself and may explain why I’ve always tried to ignore signs to “be normal” and not ask for or seek support.

They are neurodivergent, yes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were autistic (as well) but I haven’t asked. I’m not going to pry; either way they’re lovely.

Well, it was more of a “we are assigning you a mentor as someone to help you keep you on track and be organised” sort of thing…

But my mentor has been good. They’re definitely not afraid to give constructive feedback to say the least!

I’ll have the conversation with an open mind, but at the moment I feel that I’ve been managing fine without medication so I would be hesitant to be on anything. But yes, drugs are to be taken seriously.

Yeah, it’s definitely something I wouldn’t say to a colleague. It could be taken the wrong way and thar be HR calls. But for me in this case I really don’t mind, and maybe it’s what I needed to hear.

Just a reminder - the economy is an artificial construct invented by rich people to make themselves richer. There is no reason why it has to be the way it is (:

The foundation of free speech is that you cannot force someone to say something they do not want to. This is a lot more foundational than the “you can say what you want” aspect of free speech. You can’t force someone to agree with you, you can’t force someone to publish or say something in their name, you can’t force someone to host content on their website.

Similarly, you can’t force an owner of a Lemmy instance to host or say something they don’t want to. If an owner said “you know what, I don’t want to host this” or “I don’t want to federate with X” then you can disagree with them sure, but you can’t force them to say/do something they don’t want to.

Whether this is or isn’t authoritarian, the alternative is that someone can force a Lemmy owner to host things they don’t want in their server. Imagine if some really repugnant communities showed up on your instance and you couldn’t remove them. Now that really would be authoritarianism - it’s removing your freedom to choose what you say… Just because someone can say something, doesn’t mean you as an owner/individual have to listen to it, like it, agree with it, or host it.

The big free instances are running off of good will, they don’t owe you anything, they certainly don’t owe your view a voice unconditionally. If you don’t like it, especially with Lemmy, you can set up your own instance/club and say and not say what you like.