- She spends her time robbing tombs.
- She destroys the tombs and sanctuaries She visits.
- She shoots species that are probably in danger of extinction.
- She finds dinosaurs still alive and what does She do? Shoot them to death while continuing to destroy tombs.
So when the first of the new remakes was coming out, they had a special outfit you could unlock if you preordered that was more like the original short-shorts and tank top outfit with the ad for it having that and a more sensible outfit side by side, being like
“What would YOU wear in the jungle?”
And I was like… Gimme the outfit that covers her up. There are bugs and toxic plants and it’s sunny and shit… She needs protection, not traipsing around practically naked!
Wearing those shorts in the jungle in real life wouldn’t be very sexy with legs all full of mosquito bites and wounds from climbing, fighting tigers and the stunts Lara does.
Give me the real thing where she’s wearing long sleeves, sweating bullets, drenched in DEET, smelling like a melting locker room.