Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one ānoā is far too many and theyāve decided to try to break into my room. Theyāre yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also theyāre trying to work out how to break into my room?!
Iām in rural northeastern Oklahoma; Iāve got a bit of money (assuming they donāt rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because Iām autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. Iāve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and itās just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, Iām a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldnāt find anywhere that is. Also I may lose ātheirā Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to ātake back their propertyā (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, Iāve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know itā¦ blah blah BS). May be able to use my phoneā¦ ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they canāt throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldnāt do that, and that the cops wouldnāt help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes whoād just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didnāt get thrown directly into jail nor āinstitutionalizedā for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still donāt know where to go. Iām too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because likeā¦ theyāve got a handful of rooms and Iām gonna ask for one because Iām a thirty-something loser whoās broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and theyāre throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her butā¦ damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so Iāll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish Iād been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I mustāve just dreamed it all. I think itās this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess š¤· (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMomās lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently sheās going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me Iād like to mention that the new name Iāve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and Iām in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I donāt know if thereās gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday Iāll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea whatās going on out there; havenāt heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. Sheās very movement impaired and canāt get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. Heās always been physically intimidating (though not yet āviolentā), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if sheās not a factorā¦ heās a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given Iām afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. Iām very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but thereās just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I donāt eat. Iām not eating anyway so maybe thatās not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I donāt meet anyoneās criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, Iām almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, nowās the time :-\
You mean I should post in this comm asking for guides/mentors/roommates/something? Was afraid I was already begging too much š (except instead of a heehee-smile imagine like, a really meek āplease donāt hate meā kinda thing)
Iām kinda ashamed to admit it but I think my (joint-ownership, ugh D: trying to transfer most of it into PayPal) bank account has enough to get me out. Maybe not even only me. I just donāt know what living costs. Iāve never had to, so suddenly getting dumped into the deep end leaves me like, āIs even this much enough to escape? Seems like it should be plenty but everything costs so much and there are shitloads of sneaky costs like food and travel expenses and hotels stealing depositsā¦ā That is, Iām not in a position of being flat broke (unless they rob me, then I guess Iām fucked) but rather a position of being afraid and alone and overwhelmed and lost and confused. Broken yes, but I could buy a couple plane tickets. Kinda feels like Iād rather be poor with a good critter in a bad place than figure this crap out alone. Maybe I can rescue somecritter else, even? What does that even cost? More things that feel too vague to actually work with :-\
Actually managed to get some positive attention over on another comm, whichā¦ kinda expected more negativity in general. Itās almost as if this threadi/fedi/Lemmy thingy is generally less hateful than Iād expected <.< So thatās nice, I suppose. May get some more negativity after explaining more. Feels like Iām just being an ass butā¦ my mental/emotional stateās all over the place and sometimes I feel like I canāt say anything, others I feel like I have to. Iād say the biggest mess is in my head but I just got told the local domestic violence shelters are full so for sure this state at least is a bigger one. Just one of those places has over ninety rooms and theyāre all taken by people whoāve had it worse than I have. Great way to feel like even more of an ass asking for help but also angry at this awful world for doing that to people. Iām just ranting I guess. Maybe talking helps, or at least keeps me thinking and not curled up wishing I could just turn myself off.
Yes, please post for anything you need on here! You are in a really vulnerable situation and there are so many people on here who really want to help and feel for you and the situation youāre in. Youāre not asking too much for anything.
Iām glad that the money you have is enough to get you out. Thatād be your biggest problem if you didnāt have it, but would still be solvable with crowdfunding help from the community.
I canāt help you out much with cost of living, because I also still live with my parent. You can definitely ask around about it on here, though. Iām sure youāll get some helpful insight from others. If youāre not on the blahaj matrix channel yet, itād be a good idea to join. Itās kinda like a discord server and you can get more instantaneous answers and help from members of our instance/community if you need them.
Itās completely understandable that your mental health isnāt good right now, and any reasonable person would agree. Just take care of yourself the best you can. š
Good to know about the Matrix channel, Iāve wanted to dabble in Matrix for a while and that might be a good opportunity to give it a shot. It sounds like itās matured quite a bit since I last heard about it a few years ago.
Yup. Iām relatively new to matrix, but it has been easy to use. I use the element client. Works pretty well for me even though I predominantly use it on mobile. I definitely recommended trying it out.
Definitely a good call to take the money out of that bank and put it with a different one! It was all too common a story on RaisedByNarcissists sadly, parent(s) play the nice act for a little bit, bank teller sympathises and is a little too helpful, and then youāre broke.
Iāve heard more than a handful of horror stories about PayPal just shutting down accounts with too many transactions, sadly, so Iād recommend finding a credit union or bank to deposit in ASAP as well
That important bit aside, super glad you may be a little better off financially than you initially thought!
Lemmy definitely feels better moderated than The Other Place, communities being able to block/defederate other communities of trolls is a plus. Smaller communities at first isnāt a bad thing, feels more personal like ye olde forum boards.