Heyuh, any hot tips on how I can get the hell out of this abuse house? BioParents have decided that one “no” is far too many and they’ve decided to try to break into my room. They’re yelling a bunch of bullshit and telling me to get out but also they’re trying to work out how to break into my room?!
I’m in rural northeastern Oklahoma; I’ve got a bit of money (assuming they don’t rob me of that somehow) but no real means of supporting myself because I’m autistic and agoraphobic in the middle of nowhere, relying on them for everything. I’ve finally got just a little bit of help (some medications at least, nothing fancy) and it’s just too little too late I guess.
tl;dr: BioParents threatening, bullying me. Need some kind of lasting escape, need help creating my own life if such thing is possible. Need to never be here again.
Edit: Sorry, I’m a bit scattered. Sorry if this is the wrong place for this. Couldn’t find anywhere that is. Also I may lose “their” Internet connection because cutting me off from help is totally not abusing me but actually a reasonable way for them to “take back their property” (they want all of my keys as part of throwing me out, I’ve never been able to deal with confrontation and they know it… blah blah BS). May be able to use my phone… ugh.
Edit 2: They called the cops on me.
Edit 3: The guy with the Punisher tat explained that no one had done anything wrong but they can’t throw me out without going through the eviction process. BioMom has been through that process before (she used to run an apartment complex!) so she damn well knew she couldn’t do that, and that the cops wouldn’t help her unless they were just hardcore transphobes who’d just as soon shoot me. No shock to me, the only logical reason she called them was to bully me harder or just get me killed.
Edit 4: Night now, managed a kitchen+toilet trip. Didn’t get thrown directly into jail nor “institutionalized” for daring to disobey my dear sweet loving and supportive (sarcasm) mother and her imaginary right to invade every detail of my life. Still don’t know where to go. I’m too old for many things, too young for others. Kinda afraid (ashamed?) to even try to contact any kind of shelter because like… they’ve got a handful of rooms and I’m gonna ask for one because I’m a thirty-something loser who’s broken and getting thrown out? They made me broken and they’re throwing me out for trying to keep one single detail of my life from her but… damn, is that really fair to ask, when others have been through so much worse? Besides, probably nowhere has any space available, so I’ll just be stressing over a phone call or whatever and get nothing from it but more stress. FML, wish I’d been born to an actually decent family or not at all. (Edit 4b: No-go on the whole family/friends thing.)
Edit 5: Still alive! Feels like none of this is even real, like I must’ve just dreamed it all. I think it’s this room messing with my head, like nothing can ever change. Am just yapping I guess 🤷 (Edit 5b: Oh, edits count as bumps. Sorry >.<; )
Edit 6: Now BioMom’s lashing out at BioDad too. Apparently she’s going to take us to hell with her when/after(?) she dies. What the actual fuck. Anyway, in case he comes and kills me I’d like to mention that the new name I’ve been flirting with is Keris. Nocritter asked and I’m in no state to be soul-searching right now but I kinda want to say it, I guess. Might as well try to be as me as I can when I don’t know if there’s gonna be a me in ten minutes. On the plus side, if she decides to still go to her thing on Monday I’ll have a window for escape. Just have to figure out how, and where to go.
Edit 6b: Okay, not dead yet. No idea what’s going on out there; haven’t heard anything in a while. Realized I may sound a little insane being afraid of BioDad when BioMom is the one screaming about taking people to Hell with her. She’s very movement impaired and can’t get to my end of the house on her own. Sad, yes. Complicated. He, on the other paw, is as cruel as she lets him get by with. He’s always been physically intimidating (though not yet “violent”), verbally abusive, always looking to do as much damage as he can without her scolding him for it. So if she’s not a factor… he’s a threat.
Edit/Update 7: They taped a seven-day eviction notice to my door. Looks like state law requires thirty but Idunno if I can last that long anyway, given I’m afraid to even cross the lil hallway to get to the toilet. I’m very not okay, I need somewhere safe to go, at least long enough to calm down and figure out what the hell to do but there’s just nothing for it. Might be able to afford a hotel for a couple weeks if I don’t eat. I’m not eating anyway so maybe that’s not so bad. No friends, no family, no space in shelters (and I don’t meet anyone’s criteria anyway), no place to go if I do manage to leave, no idea where else to even try or ask. Hell, I’m almost out of bottled water too. If any brave adventurers wanna swoop in and rescue me, now’s the time :-\
You mean I should post in this comm asking for guides/mentors/roommates/something? Was afraid I was already begging too much 😅 (except instead of a heehee-smile imagine like, a really meek “please don’t hate me” kinda thing)
I’m kinda ashamed to admit it but I think my (joint-ownership, ugh D: trying to transfer most of it into PayPal) bank account has enough to get me out. Maybe not even only me. I just don’t know what living costs. I’ve never had to, so suddenly getting dumped into the deep end leaves me like, “Is even this much enough to escape? Seems like it should be plenty but everything costs so much and there are shitloads of sneaky costs like food and travel expenses and hotels stealing deposits…” That is, I’m not in a position of being flat broke (unless they rob me, then I guess I’m fucked) but rather a position of being afraid and alone and overwhelmed and lost and confused. Broken yes, but I could buy a couple plane tickets. Kinda feels like I’d rather be poor with a good critter in a bad place than figure this crap out alone. Maybe I can rescue somecritter else, even? What does that even cost? More things that feel too vague to actually work with :-\
Actually managed to get some positive attention over on another comm, which… kinda expected more negativity in general. It’s almost as if this threadi/fedi/Lemmy thingy is generally less hateful than I’d expected <.< So that’s nice, I suppose. May get some more negativity after explaining more. Feels like I’m just being an ass but… my mental/emotional state’s all over the place and sometimes I feel like I can’t say anything, others I feel like I have to. I’d say the biggest mess is in my head but I just got told the local domestic violence shelters are full so for sure this state at least is a bigger one. Just one of those places has over ninety rooms and they’re all taken by people who’ve had it worse than I have. Great way to feel like even more of an ass asking for help but also angry at this awful world for doing that to people. I’m just ranting I guess. Maybe talking helps, or at least keeps me thinking and not curled up wishing I could just turn myself off.
Yes, please post for anything you need on here! You are in a really vulnerable situation and there are so many people on here who really want to help and feel for you and the situation you’re in. You’re not asking too much for anything.
I’m glad that the money you have is enough to get you out. That’d be your biggest problem if you didn’t have it, but would still be solvable with crowdfunding help from the community.
I can’t help you out much with cost of living, because I also still live with my parent. You can definitely ask around about it on here, though. I’m sure you’ll get some helpful insight from others. If you’re not on the blahaj matrix channel yet, it’d be a good idea to join. It’s kinda like a discord server and you can get more instantaneous answers and help from members of our instance/community if you need them.
It’s completely understandable that your mental health isn’t good right now, and any reasonable person would agree. Just take care of yourself the best you can. 💜
Good to know about the Matrix channel, I’ve wanted to dabble in Matrix for a while and that might be a good opportunity to give it a shot. It sounds like it’s matured quite a bit since I last heard about it a few years ago.
Yup. I’m relatively new to matrix, but it has been easy to use. I use the element client. Works pretty well for me even though I predominantly use it on mobile. I definitely recommended trying it out.
Definitely a good call to take the money out of that bank and put it with a different one! It was all too common a story on RaisedByNarcissists sadly, parent(s) play the nice act for a little bit, bank teller sympathises and is a little too helpful, and then you’re broke.
I’ve heard more than a handful of horror stories about PayPal just shutting down accounts with too many transactions, sadly, so I’d recommend finding a credit union or bank to deposit in ASAP as well
That important bit aside, super glad you may be a little better off financially than you initially thought!
Lemmy definitely feels better moderated than The Other Place, communities being able to block/defederate other communities of trolls is a plus. Smaller communities at first isn’t a bad thing, feels more personal like ye olde forum boards.