• KoboldCoterie
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    4 months ago

    I hate the “What kind of music do you listen to?” question. My playlists are all over the place, they have no cohesion, it’s just whatever I happened to be in the mood for at the time a song was added. Everything from Scandinavian metal to Irish folk music to classical to rock to electronica to hardstyle, and I really don’t know how to answer that.

    I used to just pick a genre and claim it was that, but then people tend to want to discuss that and what I really want to say is, “I like a broad range of music, but I do not want to discuss my musical tastes with you, nor do I want you to recommend me songs from whatever you’re currently listening to. Please desist.” What’s the proper answer to that question that doesn’t leave me sounding like an asshole, but also doesn’t invite further critique?

    Edit: I guess what I’m saying is, I’m the 4th one.

    • Codex@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      This pretty common now. Streaming and internet in general have made music so accessible (and private) that music-as-lifestyle subcultures are dying off due to genre intermixing.

      • fin@sh.itjust.works
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        4 months ago

        I think that’s a great thing to happen, because people can now focus on what they really like instead of sticking to one artist

    • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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      4 months ago

      I didn’t realize until embarrassingly late in life that some people didn’t want to talk about music.

      My answer has usually been to just talk about whatever I’d picked up recently. “I just picked up Slothrust’s covers album. They’re like a rock band with some grunge. They covered black Sabbath and Brittany Spears. I love a fun cover.”

      • KoboldCoterie
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        4 months ago

        I’m quite happy to talk about music with people whose tastes I understand and share; I quite enjoy music, but I feel like the chances of any random person I meet being familiar with or interested in the same things I’m currently listening to are slim to none. Not that I think I’m some music hipster or anything, but I tend to get really attached to very not-mainstream stuff.

        I’d happily discuss The Protomen with you at length. Oh, you don’t know who they are? Well, I certainly am not going to explain to some random semi-stranger that I very much enjoy a band whose major work is a Megaman-themed rock opera, that’s just not a conversation I want to have. I can usually feel them judging me the whole time.

        • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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          4 months ago

          I hope you won’t take my comment the wrong way, I’m trying to be friendly but this can be a sensitive topic. Also disclaimer, I do think if you’re American the vibe there is very different, I’m writing from an European perspective which I suspect you might be too considering the genres listed (if not, maybe consider moving here haha).

          I get what you’re trying to say but you’re probably shielding yourself off from finding common grounds with a lot of people. I don’t think any of what you listed is so obscure that no one knows about them, and despite your protest, I think you do think your taste is very special and unique and no one can understand you. All of these genres have huge followings (have you seen the crowds at hard style festivals? Lol, that’s a genre a lot of people in underground electronic music consider mainstream).

          Assuming they’re not just the kind of people listening to the radio or top 40 stuff, even if they don’t know the Megaman rock opera band (which, hey, I heard of it as it turns out, though I couldn’t have named them), they might be interested in learning more about it. But it sounds like you’ve made up your mind that not only could no one else possibly have such unique and peculiar taste as you, but that no one (or almost no one) would even be interested in expanding their own musical horizons.

          Either you only know/meet really shitty people (unlikely) or this is a construct you’ve built into your mind. I get it though, I used to have similar feelings towards the general public when I was younger (though I always did have access to crowds that would share at least one or more genre with me) but with age I realized I just don’t give a fuck what people think and I’ll listen and happily discuss whatever I like (and, gasp, yes, that also includes some mainstream things!) with anyone that’s interested, whether they’re already versed into the genre or not. I’ve put on a lot of people to a lot of good stuff like this over the years to the point they became regular listeners or even buying vinyl of it etc, and the same happened to me.

          • KoboldCoterie
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            4 months ago

            Also disclaimer, I do think if you’re American the vibe there is very different,

            I’m American, so that might be part of it. Maybe I should move to Europe.

            I think you do think your taste is very special and unique and no one can understand you.

            I don’t think it’s special or unique; I know plenty of people who listen to the same things I do, and I didn’t mean to imply that hardstyle or metal or whatever are unique tastes; I’m a very introverted person and I don’t enjoy conversation for the sake of conversation. If someone is genuinely interested in a topic I’m passionate about, I enjoy discussing it, but smalltalk is just tiring and “What kind of music do you listen to?” isn’t a question with a simple answer, it’s a question that leads into other questions. I can’t just say “The Protomen” or whatever else without the followup question, “What type of music do they play?”, and that leads to an awkward conversation that I don’t enjoy having, with a stranger at least.

              • KoboldCoterie
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                4 months ago

                Really hope they do that for Act 3. Also I hope they sell DVDs. Not that I don’t enjoy the Queen covers, but I go to those shows to get hyped up pumping my fist in the air and chanting ‘We Are The Dead!’.

                  • KoboldCoterie
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                    4 months ago

                    You finally get it.

                    There is no Act III.

                    Mankind is doomed.

                    It has been a very long wait. The few singles they’ve released are bangers, though. I’m holding out hope.

                    I was at the Pax East show the year they debuted Hold Back the Night and holy cow, the hype in that room was off the charts. The Gambler has a great voice and you can really see the passion on her face when she sings.

        • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
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          4 months ago

          I’d happily discuss The Protomen with you at length. Oh, you don’t know who they are? Well, I certainly am not going to explain to some random semi-stranger that I very much enjoy a band whose major work is a Megaman-themed rock opera, that’s just not a conversation I want to have. I can usually feel them judging me the whole time.

          I don’t think you’re in the wrong. You’re entitled how you want to spend your energy.

          But if the other person shows interest, I’d love to give them a “tour” of whatever band or genre. And I like when people show me stuff they’re into, sometimes.

          Sometimes because that “giving a tour” activity is a skill. Like one person could give a summary of the protomen really interesting, and someone else might just infodump it in an overwhelming way. Also picking up on when they’re legitimately interested vs being polite is a skill.

    • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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      4 months ago

      Your best bet is to just say you aren’t into any of it, you just listen to whatever is playing.

      Mind you, that comes with its own series of discussion points that will get annoying, but that’s just human interaction.

    • Esqplorer@lemmy.zip
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      4 months ago

      I’m the 4th guy (love screamo and post hardcore though) but people think “all over” means I don’t pay attention when it’s the opposite.

      I get appreciation and love the music of Jack White as much as Mariah Carey. My playlists drive my friends and family wild.

      I usually answer the question with questions to describe music I like that’s in the same ballpark as them. My FIL loves CCR and Jimmy Buffett, but about as close as I can get to that is John Mellencamp. We then talk about Johny Cougar and have some good conversations. Sometimes they’ll open up a step after that and we can talk about other stuff.

    • yogsototh@programming.dev
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      4 months ago

      Say you only listen to Wing as the greatest magnificent singer of all time. You are particularly in love with her interpretation of Beat It where she clearly outperforms the miserable attempt of Michael Jackson.

      I guess with such an argument the discussion about your musical taste will not take long to switch to another subject.

      And also, I really, love Wing because she sing without any other goal than to make other people feel good. No attempt to be a genius or taking herself too seriously.