So I know everyone is going to answer “yes”, but I want actual real thoughts. I just want to know where I fit in.
I’m AMAB, and present as male, at least on the surface. I’ve always felt that was wrong though. But I don’t necessarily think I’m a woman. I wish I was more feminine. And recently I started full body laser hair removal, and I have pretty long hair, and currently have my toe nails painted. But I also have a beard, and otherwise present totally as cis.
Am I “trans”? I don’t feel “cis”, but I feel like calling myself trans just isn’t accurate and is inappropriate. Is there any other option?
And a complicating factor is that I’m basically only attracted to female presenting people. I see a lot of mtf trans people posting online “t4t”. Would other trans people consider me “trans”?
Why do you feel like calling yourself trans isn’t accurate, or is inappropriate?
What about being attracted to women complicates whether you are trans?
Before I started hormones I felt pretty much the same way you do, I wanted to be more feminine but didn’t feel comfortable considering myself a woman and the label trans felt alien. Rarely are people able to look inside and see “oh, I’m a woman”. Give yourself time to think things through and the grace to be uncertain sometimes. My conception of being a woman certainly changed a lot once I started to transition. You may find reading Julia Serrano’s Whipping Girl helpful, it was certainly important for me.
This series of videos made a big difference for me as well. They were the videos that made me confront the fact that I was probably trans and I should start transitioning. Maybe you will find it helpful, too?
I know trans people who have used the book You and Your Gender Identity (note: that link is a PDF). It is a workbook of sorts that guides you through questions about gender.
I also really found Mia Violet’s Yes, You Are Trans Enough affirming. Not every trans person has the same experience or background, but Mia Violet and I shared a lot of similarities, and that helped me when I was struggling with severe imposter syndrome early on.