• Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    (this reads like a rant but it’s a message of remembrance and reflection)

    Rose-colored glasses? I remember my realization in the 90s and being in the closet for the entire 00s. Me and other queer peers were terrified of our own family, openly being mocked in school by students and faculty, I have friends that have attempted suicide more times than I have fingers per person. You should not know the ER staff on a first-name basis. Friends who didn’t reveal they were trans until they were in their 30s and separated from anyone but their closest, most trusted friends. Friends who still, after years of therapy, are still suffering from depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. And this spreads wide with the people I grew up with. It’d actually genuinely be difficult to think of someone in my extended social circle that didn’t have the view that school was literal hell because of the constant belittling, insulting, second-class treatment from everyone from the students to the principal (I can think of literally just one individual). We had at least one person I know of who viewed the Columbine shooters as someone they looked up to, because of how badly they were treated at a place where you are supposed to be safe.

    It’s not all rainbows and unicorns now, but it’s a stark contrast to what it was 20+ years ago. Children shouldn’t have to wonder if they are going to be stabbed or shot or beaten by so-called ‘adults’ and ‘caregivers’ for who they like. They shouldn’t be scared of being put out on the fucking street for taking their partner to prom. They shouldn’t have to create a second life of lies and then mirror that data around so if anyone questions anyone in the friend circle, the stories match up.

    A child/teenager should be happy and joyous, not like a fucking prison sentence. 20 years ago, it was. I lived that hell, many of us did. Abuse everywhere you turned, even if you were still in the closet (to everyone but us). People were absolute terrible bastards, but the victims are changing that, because we are the people those fucks who call themselves adults should have been. Everyone I’ve spoken about is in a better place now - scarred physically, suffering from mental trauma, often still questioning why they don’t make today their last, every single day. But we are still here, we have always supported each other, and we want this hellhole to never be experienced by others ever again. A tall order, but we are trying.

    I’m sure there’s thousands, shit, millions of others just like us. We are the shy, timid ones, boiling in our memories of bullshit, our permanent rage. Suffering one last time in the hopes that others don’t have to. Out in the world, some of us just want peace and quiet, to be left alone and forgotten, as their defense. Some carry weapons, due to their location and popular opinion against them. Some relocated to more accepting parts of the world, many right out of high school. But we all want all of us to live safer, happier, better lives. Together, we make progress, bit by bit.

    My siblings and their friends, I hear them talk about things now and then. A few years makes a huge difference in tolerance - two decades might as well be completely different planets.

    Just don’t pretend or romanticize years past, is all I’m saying. Progress is forward, not backward.

    • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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      7 months ago

      i was there too, like you and you’re forgetting that biden actively actively made the situation back in the 90’s and 00’s worse by voting against gay marriage; against gays in the military; and advocating against gays in federal service.

      things got better in spite of biden et al. efforts; not because of them.

    • gregorum@lemm.ee
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      7 months ago

      I’m not the one pretending here. No progress has been made during this administration.

      • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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        7 months ago

        My brother in christ it takes literally one Google search to see how utter bullshit this take is.

        https://www.hrc.org/resources/president-bidens-pro-lgbtq-timeline

        One that struck me is how Biden handled monkeypox. Under Trump, monkeypox would have been a “gay disease” that would have not been taken seriously at all. The Biden administration took it seriously and now I’ve completely forgotten it was a thing.

        Go take your lunch break Dimitri.

        • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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          7 months ago

          his pro gay “history” only goes back 2.5 years. lol

          while his any-gay history goes back 40+ years

          • JimSamtanko@lemm.ee
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            7 months ago

            It’s a good thing he’s not going to be running for president 40 years ago, isn’t it? Unless you’re willing to make a blanket generalization that no one can change, maybe back way from the microphone.

                • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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                  7 months ago

                  it shows that he has no real principles and is just a politician who only cares about getting votes to maintain the status quo

                  • Telodzrum@lemmy.world
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                    7 months ago

                    You: Politicians should listen to constituents to represent them and change positions based on new information.

                    Also You: Anytime a politician changes their position or just a lie to get votes [which is somehow bad].

          • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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            7 months ago

            Aww man, wish I caught that. Why didn’t the Biden administration help the LGBT community 40 years ago!? He really wasn’t a great president in 1984. /S

            Look, his recent record shows the kind of administration he’s running, and what we could expect in the next 4 years. You may remember he (and Obama) said he believed marriage was between a man and a woman during the 2008 debates. Then, you may remember under the same administration, Gay marriage was federally legalized. It’s not like he’s going to go back to his pre-2008 stance in November.

            • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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              7 months ago

              Aww man, wish I caught that. Why didn’t the Biden administration help the LGBT community 40 years ago!? He really wasn’t a great president in 1984. /S

              there were plenty of pro-gay politicians in 1984 and biden’s track record of actively making it worse is a 30 second google search away.

              … You may remember he (and Obama) said he believed marriage was between a man and a woman during the 2008 debates. Then, you may remember under the same administration, Gay marriage was federally legalized…

              gay marriage was made legal through the courts so it became legalized in spite of that administration; not because of it.

              • meep_launcher@lemm.ee
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                7 months ago

                in spite of that administration

                Wtf are you talking about? Do you not remember DOMA being repealed which was crucial for gay marriage to pass? Here is a quick list for you to use as evidence that the Obama administration was hostile to LGBTQ people.

                https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2016/06/09/fact-sheet-obama-administrations-record-and-lgbt-community

                plenty of pro-gay politicians in 1984

                Wtactualf are you talking about? Yes there were a handful, but being gay was ESPECIALLY a political death sentence then. Saying this just erases the fraught past we’ve had, and doesn’t recognize the INSANE amount of progress we’ve made.

                Also if you read my comment you’d recognize that argument is moot, as his current administration is what is important.

                You gotta go and audit your history YouTube channels. You’re getting some wacked info.

                • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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                  7 months ago

                  the obergefell v. hodges supreme court case made doma invalid. you’re thinking of the respect for marriage act which not only had no impact but allowed for people to legally protected if they rejected gay marriage.

                  hollywood and political agitators made that progress happen; while those people you’re supporting remained neutral at best and voted against it at the worst.

                • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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                  7 months ago

                  it means that he only does the things that will get him votes

        • gregorum@lemm.ee
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          7 months ago

          Christ is a myth, and if you think a single example in 4 years is anything impressive, it just proves how thirsty you are.

      • tsonfeir@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        The problem with getting all your news from social media is that when you surround yourself with people who only share the one kind of news, you don’t get all of the other news that is very important.

        As other people are saying to you, all you have to do is look for it and you will find a list of the pro-lgbt actions this administration has done.

        • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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          7 months ago

          The problem with getting all your news from social media is that when you surround yourself with people who only share the one kind of news, you don’t get all of the other news that is very important.

          As other people are saying to you, all you have to do is look for it and you will find a list of the pro-lgbt actions this administration has done.

          likewise, all you have to do is look for it and you’ll find a much longer list of biden’s anti-lgbt actions.

                • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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                  7 months ago

                  What has he done while president?

                  how about enabling and turning a blind eye to an ongoing genocide?

                  or failing to make good on his campaign promises while he and his party was in control of both the house & senate?

                  or weaponizing the law to force striking workers to get back to work?

                  or banning a social media company and cheap electric cars to please his aipac and automotive donors and using the guise of national security to do so?

                  • tsonfeir@lemmy.world
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                    7 months ago

                    No, regarding LGBT. That’s the topic.

                    Also, most of what you said is either untrue or opinion.

                    If you’re going to throw shit, don’t manipulate the truth. December 2022, he signed legislation that imposed a labor agreement to avert a national railroad strike. This action effectively prevented the strike but did not force workers back to work, as the strike had not yet begun.

                    No tiktok ban. No car tax.

      • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Weren’t you just criticizing someone for invalidating your experiences? That’s exactly what you’re doing right now to the person above.

        If they say shit is much better for them and their loved ones right now, don’t say they’re just pretending that’s the case. If you want to be respected for saying things are personally no better for you, don’t tell someone else they’re just pretending if they say things are better for them now.

        Otherwise you just come off as an incredibly disingenuous asshole.

          • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
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            7 months ago

            You should take your own advice instead of screeching at everyone. I must admit though, you’re quite right, my head does hurt from reading your awful mental gymnastics.

            Don’t you think your constant rage at everyone is a sign here that you’re doing something hypocritical and wrong?

            I’m guessing probably not, but people have come to epiphanies of self growth from even less likely situations.

              • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
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                7 months ago

                If you cannot exercise enough self-control to keep your mouth shut, I am not responsible for that.

                You’re the one who’s posted two replies within a few minutes lmao

                Regardless though, I thank you for your response. It isn’t often that someone proves of their own accord that they’re completely unhinged.

                Feel free to keep responding though. You’re just proving the point further and further, and I doubt that’s going to end. Go ahead, keep projecting. I’m enjoying the free entertainment.