Hi, I’m Jasmine.
This post is a bit of a vent, but I also genuinely need help and comfort. I hope this is appropriate to talk about here and that I don’t ruin the vibe of this community too much.
I’m tired with myself repressing my gender. I’m tired with me telling myself maybe I can live happily as a boy, maybe I can convince myself, or maybe this is all fake somehow. I feel like I’m not meant to be a girl, that I am meant to be a boy, and that I shouldn’t transition because it’s against my cultures. And my internalized transphobia sometimes made me think like a bigot when given the chance.
I’ve done my best to avoid lashing my internalized transphobia to anyone, even online, and I’ll continue to do my best. I’ll continue to do my best to support trans people, but ironically it’s hard for me to support myself.
I know this all sounds so negative, but it’s been eating away at my mental health. I need help.
I just wanted someone to reassure me that it’s okay for me to transition and that there is nothing wrong with being transgender. I would also greatly appreciate sites and resources for trans people to reassure me that it’s okay to be trans.
I always shied away from anything trans because I thought so many cultures are opposed to us. But you’re right, in a vacuum, I would me more than happy to be a girl, at least a part of me (we’re a bit plural). I think I should not stop dreaming to be a girl one day.
I feel that it’s wrong to go against everyone, so selfish. Then again, there’s a reason that defying what your culture say is a common trope in movies. Think of Moana, Cinderella, Romeo and Juliet, or even Aladdin.