Queensland Health lauded for telling people ‘it’s okay to poo at work’ and raising awareness of the dangers of ‘holding it in’
  • cygnus@lemmy.caEnglish
    492·
    2 months ago

    I guess Aussies aren’t familiar with “Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime; that’s why I poop on company time”

    • Glytch@lemmy.worldEnglish
      12·
      2 months ago

      Stolen from reddit:

      The boss makes a dollar, I make a dime That was a poem From a simpler time

      Now his boss makes 1000 While I make a cent And he’s got employees That can’t make the rent

      When the CEO makes a million And we don’t make jack That’s when we riot To take it all back

      Now Mr investor If this seems extreme I have to remind you It beats guillotines

  • Frog@lemmy.caEnglish
    26·
    2 months ago

    Tomorrow’s news: Amazon sues the Australian Health Department

    • palordrolap@fedia.io
      14·
      2 months ago

      Nah, they’ll just make life more difficult for any employees who take bathroom breaks, if not find some “clearly unrelated” excuse to outright fire them.

  • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
    16·
    2 months ago

    Back in the 2000s I used to have an app on my PC where I could enter my salary or hourly wage, hit a button when I went for a poop, hit it again when I got back and it would tell me how much I’d earned on the can.

    Wonder if there’s anything like that for phones these days?

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
      7·
      2 months ago

      If you want to set up a spreadsheet, the formulas are pretty simple:

      Salary / 52 = weekly pay (approx, there’s a few extra days in the year but my bi-weekly pay is salary / 26, which actually works out to a slightly higher pay than if they did it by extact days)

      Weekly pay / 40 = hourly equivalent (or 37.5 if you want to assume unpaid lunches, which effectively increases your hourly rate)

      Hourly equivalent / 60 = minute equivalent

      Time in minutes pooping * hourly equivalent = money earned pooping

      For hourly pay, just drop that in to the hourly equivalent variable above.

      • TedZanzibar@feddit.ukEnglish
        6·
        2 months ago

        Nice! I’m learning Python right now so I’m going to take this and make a script out of it.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
          9·
          2 months ago

          Yeah, that script should only take a few days, most of which spent on creating an ascii pooping animation while it’s waiting for you to return.

  • calcopiritus@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    2 months ago

    I poo almost daily at work. It’s almost impossible to hold it in for 8:30 continuous hours.

    If someone tells me off for it, they will find out how much my productivity drops when I have to focus on holding the shit instead of doing my work.

    Poo in work. Not only is it a nice break, but it also is more productive than not pooing. Win-win for everyone.

  • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldMEnglish
    51·
    2 months ago

    Yeah, but the assholes I have to work with poo there. I can’t deal with that.

    Thankfully, I can usually get it all out right after I get up.