The worst part is: I feel like I want this soo badly but I don’t know if I really want it. The imagination of having someone is the sweetest thing in existence but in all reality, I don’t think that I could handle having someone that close to me… I don’t understand my sexuality, but that’s fine. I’ll just post memes to cope with it and cry into my Blahaj when I need to

src for the background image: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/119419109

  • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    22·
    3 months ago

    Mooooood. One of the few hook ups I’ve had, afterwards, he held me close, little spoon, and ran his finger delicately around my side and abs and told me that was the sexiest part of me and told me I was amazing and it was hard to not burst into tears. I’d never felt attractive before. I’d never felt truly wanted like that before. I don’t think I will again. It’s harder now, when you’ve been starved for affection and touch for so long having a brief glimpse of it is almost worse than never having had it at all. It’ll take a long time to numb back down I think.