• MBM@lemmings.world
    1·
    52 minutes ago

    I’m glad that every time I see a “girls are boring/well-adjusted, boys are quirky” meme format someone has already commented on that, but it always comes with multiple “it’s just a meme dude, don’t overthink it” responses.

  • UnhingedFridge@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    7 hours ago

    The only thing I could think of when I saw that was worry about her own self-image… obviously won’t comment trash like that unless providing context to further thoughts -

    So long as she’s happy or in the pursuit of her own personal happiness (even if not and just doing what she can do get through this shitty life,) whatever she looks like is none of my fucking business ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    Sucks to think of the unnecessary abuse she has to put up with from day to day.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOPEnglish
      2·
      5 hours ago

      fortunately i don’t think she browses lemmy, and i’ve the comments under the original video from where the image was pulled—they are all much kinder.

      which is good news for her but the fact there was such a big pattern here is deeply troubling.

  • lseif@sopuli.xyz
    4·
    8 hours ago

    thats what happens when you build a community with a large percentage of shut-in nerds and software devs (speaking as one of the latter)

    • MBM@lemmings.world
      1·
      1 hour ago

      This is essentially why I’d like more “normies” here
      (or option 2: maybe I should just avoid online spaces with the (sexist/weird) kind of people I avoid IRL)

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOPEnglish
      2·
      5 hours ago

      yeah, i try to think of it as an opportunity. i usually try to focus my efforts on encouraging growth and recognizing the hurt thats caused.

  • Gamma@beehaw.orgEnglish
    6·
    10 hours ago

    Comments like those make me glad for my instance, I very rarely see anything like them

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    173·
    15 hours ago

    I feel like it depends on the instance, .world is mostly male liberals (who will occasionally act sexist) while Blahaj.zone is mostly Transfem :3

    (Btw I wouldnt tolerate any of those comments on c/Trans)

    • 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.caEnglish
      2·
      10 hours ago

      i seriously think i have to revisit who im attracted to because cis-women sometimes just don’t vibe with my lifestyle anymore. I’ve been online for too long and its changed my personality. I have had relationships with women who would find these comments funny and acceptable, and i would kinda go “eugh” at them and second guess my feelings.

    • Ziglin@lemmy.worldEnglish
      4·
      15 hours ago

      I did not know that. Where are these demographics from? (More male users doesn’t really surprise me, that seems to be common in the places I’m interested in)

  • 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.caEnglish
    1·
    10 hours ago

    i fail to understand how i am very respectable when i try to find a girlfriend yet this misogyny is widely celebrated by some men and some women find it acceptable. is somthing wrong with me?

    • jerakor@startrek.website
      131·
      8 hours ago

      Women are not a monolith and not all admiration of physical attributes is misogyny.

      If you see it as work or effort to not post online about random peoples physical attributes when you see a picture of them, then yea you should look at yourself a bit. It shouldn’t feel like you deserve a reward for not being like that.

      • 1985MustangCobra@lemmy.caEnglish
        11·
        8 hours ago

        I don’t feel like i diverse a reward, and if the comments are reserved to a place where it’s consensual, i don’t see an issue. but imagine your picture was being shared online and people who have no idea are, make comments like this about you? wouldn’t you feel a bit upset about that?

        • jerakor@startrek.website
          5·
          7 hours ago

          Yes, that is absolutely unacceptable. But that has nothing to do with your personal situation and I would say it is unhealthy to relate the two.

            • jerakor@startrek.website
              1·
              7 hours ago

              You have a common and problematic view of things. You asked if you are doing something wrong, it looks like you probably are. I’d advise you question your worldview a bit and talk honestly with folks you feel you can respect on how they got from where you are to where they are.

      • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.world
        172·
        18 hours ago

        .world users suck compared to blahaj.zone. With .ml, you get tankies, but with .world, you get more transphobes and lib normies. I spend all my time here, getting shocked by what’s normalized when I visit other instances. The people here can be horny, but are much more likely to respect boundaries if told.

  • Th4tGuyII@fedia.io
    465·
    1 day ago

    Related to the previous posts bit, but I remember first seeing the Man vs. Bear memes.

    I’ll admit it was hard not to take it personally at first, because even if you agreed with the core of the message, it feels like you’re being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason. That’s probably why the reaction was so toxic, because people just replied with their gut reaction, which was to take offence…

    But upon giving it a bit of thought, I realised that as a guy who’s lived in some dodgy areas, I think I too would oftentimes prefer to take my chances with a bear than alone with a stranger at night - not cause I think I’d beat the bear, but at least you know what the bear’s probably gonna do…

    And if I feel that way being a man, then considering (on average) women are weaker than men of the same build, I can see why women would feel that way too.

    • Lumelore (She/her)@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      111·
      12 hours ago

      it feels like you are being lumped in with the worst of menkind for no good reason.

      Before I realized I was trans I also got super upset at being lumped in with bad men (although with an additional different reason that I didn’t understand at the time), and that feeling is absolutely terrible, because you’re basically getting shit on just for existing.

      From my perspective as a woman it seems like there are a lot of shitty dudes out there. After I realizing I’m trans it became a lot easier to notice misogyny since it now affects me. I did notice before, but when something affects you specifically you notice it a lot more. I also didn’t fully understand how weak women are compared to men until I started taking estrogen. Just being near a man I don’t know well or at all is very scary because of how easily he could overpower me.

      If I am getting a random bear vs a random man I would definitely take the bear just because I feel like the risk of getting a bad man is too high. If I could pick a specific man, I definitely would pick my father or a friend because I know they are good men and I feel safe around them.

      I think some outrage could have been avoided if the question was worded just a bit better, although I think part of why it got so popular is because of the outrage it caused.

    • spujb@lemmy.cafeOPEnglish
      133·
      21 hours ago

      hell yeah dude. it’s an uncomfortable conclusion to draw, but it’s an uncomfortable reality we live in.