For the record I was posting in support of inclusive language, but pointing out that context and convention matter.

They seem to have even scrubbed my comment from their instance, lol.

  • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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    Wow, somebody that day was salty, and pretty much just looking for a comment to get mad about.

    There’s another FOSS project idea: a bot that detects Lemmy bans and sends you a notification about it.

    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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      Another idea, take the mod log and allow voting on mod actions in a way that makes unpopular ones more visible. Give the users tools to evaluate moderators and admins to speed up the process of removing bad mods or users discovering they shouldn’t bother with an instance with bad admins. Or, with a different sorting method, it could highlight mods that aren’t power tripping losers.

      Maybe a similar system for reporting, since it wouldn’t surprise me if some mods feel like they need to act because of pressure from losers who power trip with the report button. You know, the kind that feels the need to inform people they’ve been reported.

      • xor@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        well you could just make a lemmy community about spurious bans and people could vote on it, and you could tag them in the comments somewhere….

  • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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    I got banned from lemmy.world/c/linuxsucks, which is one person’s mental illness, so who cares? Doesn’t stop me from calling them an idiot when they show up elsewhere.

    • Rin@lemm.ee
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      Never heard linuxsucks be described more accurately.

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      Linux is the expression of the collective mental illness of thousands of mentally ill computer hobbyists.

    • TheObviousSolution@lemm.ee
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      I’ve seen worse for just for putting criticism in threads asking for user’s “questions, concerns, requests and issues”. And at the admin level, in a major instance where they never really apologized or corrected themselves until a couple of months later without really assuming any blame.

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    They could not in fact get over it, dude.

    They must feel very strongly about the word dude. I’m in your camp on it. It’s an exclamation, nothing more 🤷

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    Wouldn’t be a leftist platform if they didn’t spend the majority of their time and effort self policing based on their purity tests instead of doing something actually productive

    • ikidd@lemmy.world
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      I still remember watching that socialist convention that spent an hour doing nothing but teaching people to wave their hands in the air to signal applause and running someone down that dared to use the word “guys”. Point of Personal Privilege, my ass.

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    Blahaj mods (especially the one modding ghazi, transgender and 196) are the worst kind of mods. They promote blatant misinformation, remove posts calling said misinformation out, and they ban people and label them transphobes despite there being no transphobic words or implications whatsoever in your comments.

    Just block the entire instance and move on. There are better instances that better represent the lgbt community.

    Source: my ban message is the same as yours, and I have never said or implied anything remotely transphobic.

    • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgOPM
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      What I hate about blocking instances is that I no longer seem to get inbox notifications when a member of the instance comments on something in response to me, outside of that instance.

      Like, my beef isn’t with blahaj users, and I don’t want to unintentionally ignore them because their admin/s are nutballs.

      • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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        Block the specific subs, it’s more work but fine grained enough to see all comments that you can interact with.

      • x00z@lemmy.world
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        I can tell you that a lot of the blahaj users hold the same mentality.

    • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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      Basically everyone on Lemmy not sucking their toes is a transphobe, even if you’ve never said a single word about trans people at all.

      • sunzu2@thebrainbin.org
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        They do have persecution complex while most of the world doesn’t give a shit about their existence.

        People who care deff don’t post on Lemmy either so they need to make up the enemy from a pool of normal shit posters

        • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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          Honestly yeah, they need a bad guy to go with the victim complex and since Lemmy is overall pretty left leaning they end up having to attack their own to fill that need.

    • Cruxifux@feddit.nl
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      How do you see why you were banned from a page? I was banned from 196 too and I have absolutely no idea what I could have said.

    • glimse@lemmy.world
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      They named their instance after an IKEA product so I can only assume it’s a group of trans capitalists who fawn over corporations

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    Imagine going out of your way to mod based on shit posted else where.

    I have been saying this… We have too much modding for no fucking reason.

    We literally got 50k AMU, and half the modding is based on vibes, I don’t like the tone or content of the comments

    As if there is not enough real modding to go around lol

    • Gamecm@lemmy.sdf.org
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      I get what you’re saying about the overabundance of modding sometimes, but it’s also important to remember that different types of modding can serve different needs within the community. Sure, some mods might feel unnecessary, but others provide a fresh experience and keep things interesting. In fact, if you’re into mods that actually enhance gameplay and add value, check out this website(https://thespykegame.com/) for some solid content. There are mods out there that can truly elevate the experience, so it’s not all just based on vibes!

    • Thorry84@feddit.nl
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      The mod to user ratio in some of the communities is way out of whack. Just start with one mod who does nothing except manage spam and actual harmful content posted explicitly to be harmful. If the community ever grows so much that more mods are required, add only as needed and not more. And do the absolute minimum to make the community a good place to be, so it has a chance to grow and flourish.

      What I’m saying is mod in moderation.

  • dukeofdummies@lemmy.world
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    I’m just glad I’m not the only one who views dude as androgynous.

    I thought I was one of the few.

    • BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world
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      I find it androgynous and will use it for anyone, but if anyone told me they were uncomfortable with me referring to them that way, I would stop, as with anything. It’s simply decent to refer to people as they prefer.

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      I find these always interesting to read in the following sentence: ‘I fucked a bunch of dudes’.

      Do you also believe that this sentence would work for you? (Assuming you are a heterosexual)

      Because I always thought I was in the ‘Dude is androgynous’ camp, but after considering that sentence: I don’t think so anymore

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        Conflation due to context?

        I think sexual activity adds implied gender relationships that shift how ‘dude’ is interpreted. While ‘dude’ can feel androgynous in casual contexts, in a phrase like ‘fucked a bunch of dudes,’ the sexual framing amplifies its masculine connotations. This shows how cultural norms around sexuality and gender can override attempts at neutrality.

      • CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org
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        It’s male-leaning, although it gets used androgynously.

        If someone personally didn’t want to be called dude, I’d avoid it. Otherwise it’s not worth freaking out over.

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    From the Book of the Dude, the holy book of the Dudeism religion:

    Incidentally, the term “dude” is commonly agreed to refer to all genders. Most linguists contend that the diminutive “dudette” is not in keeping with the parlance of our times.

    • flicker@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      I don’t want to be called dude or dudette, but I’m 95% certain this will change whenever I finally watch that movie.

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    The key is that you said “but…” which in some communities fails the test of absolute 100% agreement and makes you The Enemy. I had a very similar experience there, in my case it was saying someone who is “uncomfortable” with gender issues might not actually “hate” anybody, they could just be having trouble overcoming how they were raised. But in the end it’s like if a TV channel stops but you get thousands of other channels, so oh well <shrug>.

    • SmilingSolaris@lemmy.world
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      Not to everyone, and that’s cool, until someone tells you not to call them dude anymore. Then your an asshole if you try to argue the gender neutrality of the term dude. Such as telling someone to get over it.

    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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      5 days ago

      So is bitch, but if you ask someone to stop calling you bitch and they tell you to get over it, then they’re assholes.

          • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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            You’re arguing that the context is subjective to the word provided yes? Yet your example is also subjective, clearly when your friends call you bitch it’s not meant as an insult. I can’t think of a single instance in which using dude as an insult is going to get someone offended on purpose, where bitch definitely can be used purposefully.

            • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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              Dude can be used as an insult when used to refer to someone who specifically said they don’t want to be called dude. I don’t know why this is so hard for you. If people don’t want to be called something, don’t call them that. Definitely don’t tell them it’s their fault if they’re offended and they need to get over it.

              • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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                Yeah that’s not how language works, that’s how pestering works, just because you don’t like to be called Apple and I call you an apple doesn’t mean that apple is now magically an insult word.

                I don’t know why this is so hard for you

          • stevedice@sh.itjust.works
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            Have lots of friends that calm me bitch. They can do so because I’m fine with it. If I tell them I’m not and they reply with “get over it”, we have a problem.

        • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgOPM
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          This community only has one rule so far: if you’re gonna troll, it had better be clever and entertaining. Make of that what you will.

      • yokonzo@lemmy.world
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        Using “dudes” as a common noun, is different from using “dude” as a vocative, apples to oranges my dude

  • Blaster M@lemmy.world
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    I was once told my choice of defaulting to referring to people as they/them is offensive to nonbinary people. I don’t necessarily know your pronouns at that particular instance of time when speaking, and being offensive is not my intention, but it seems to happen anyway.

    Which is why I call they/them the equal oppurtunity offender. It doesn’t discriminate in its neutralness.

    Wait until they hear what non-binary sounds like in Spanish, a language that genders every noun as either male or female.

    • lurklurk@lemmy.world
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      They/them is extremely practical and I’ve yet to meet a non-binary person in real life who complains about the umbrella usage of it. Some people just want to be offended or want to police behaviour. They should stay on twitter.

    • DrPop@lemmy.world
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      At least from one Non Binary, I default they/them and have no idea why I personally would find it offensive.

      • LovableSidekick@lemmy.world
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        I usually get a lot of hate when I call it “binary thinking” to see only two extreme polar opposite sides to any issue. Some people don’t relate to that term outside of gender issues.

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      This is the most retarded shit about us on the left. We fight over every little thing while the right can unite over only one issue.

    • hightrix@lemmy.world
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      What the hell? I call everyone they these days as to not offend anyone, I’m trying to be inclusive with this.

    • WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today
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      Once it’s cheap enough, I will unironically just pay for Gemmini or something to monitor my comments and keep track of all the rules. I can’t possibly deal with all the nuances and expectations of every instance.

      If someone is still offended after that, idk what to say.

      • Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Nope, everything is either lo (masculine “the”) or la (feminine “the”), and there is no “the” which is gender neutral.

        Yeah, when saying things like “this” or “that” there is a neutral version used only and very explicitly for objects when you’re not using the actual noun for the object - i.e. in “give me that” but not in “give me that box” - but that’s about as close as the thing gets to having a neutral gender.

        Same with Portuguese, Italian, French and, as far as I know, all Romance languages out there.

        Funny bit is that whilst for most things the same thing tends to be have a noun which is masculine or feminine in all of those languages (at least the ones I know, so no idea about Romanian), some words might be masculine in one language and feminine in another or vice-versa.

        • yeather@lemmy.ca
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          That’s why some people push the Latinx crap. If you ever want to make a Hispanic person mad, call them Latinx.

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            While he ain’t wrong about neuter being limited usage I also had spanish speakers tell me latinx is idiotic but if you mist then “latine” is the proper term.

            Latinx is some shot cooked up in American universities and has been brute forced into general use but nobody appears to have asked the Spanish speaking latino people lol

            • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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              But we’re OK with both, and we do use both occasionally. We even used the @ in the 90s-00s until it fell out of fashion as in Latin@.

              It’s usually only a problem when Americans discuss it amongst yourselves and start blaming each other about who did what, which then polarizes the conversation further for everyone else, especially other Latinos who wouldn’t have felt encroached otherwise. Because to us, in the vacuum of ignorance, it’s just another whimsy feature of the language.

          • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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            That’s not quite true anymore. A lot of progressives have been adopting it and it’s quite common to see in Spanish lingo, especially in gay and feminist circles, whether tongue-in-cheek or otherwise because it is a viable way of writing incusivity in some way.

            Here’s a picture of a published book by one of my acquaintances who’s both feminist and queer: