Thereās definitely some additional nuance (like a pronouns in bio/username situation) but this should cover the broad needs of anyone who is approaching this with good faith.
Thereās definitely some additional nuance (like a pronouns in bio/username situation) but this should cover the broad needs of anyone who is approaching this with good faith.
Arenāt you afraid of just creating an echo chamber where no criticism is possible at all?
You can disagree with their idea of what the effect is of people being (perceived as) overly sensitive to pronouns, but isnāt it a topic that should be discussed in the queer space, and shouldnāt there be room for such points of view?
If theyād be personally attacking people, i can get giving them a temp ban a few times and see if they learn how to behave, but perma banning fellow queers from your queer discussion space because their opinions donāt match yours really doesnāt sound like a good basis for a heatlhy space to talk about queer issues.
And great that youāre similar in age survived being young and queer better, does that invalidate their experience?
In a world where we are being erased, attacked, harassed and turned in to political footballs, where every major social media platform has explicitly green lit attacks and harassment on us, concerns over āecho chambersā arenāt even on my list.
Bigotry is bigotry. It has no place here. The user in question wasnāt banned for defaulting to they/them. She was banned because she was actively blaming the victims of transphobia for the transphobia they received. She isnāt gender diverse herself, she is a cis woman who decided that the people asking for their pronouns to be respected are the real cause of the bigotry we face.
On top of that, she also threw a lot of comments that made it clear what she really things of gender diverse folk. ā attention seeking bratsā. ā Younger queers need faux outrage to feel importantā, ā if some chud gets all hissy about their pronounsā. ā As a cis lesbian whoās gender nonconforming, Iāve spent years putting up with their pronoun based faux āoppressionā temper tantrums out of an effort to be āacceptingā only to watch larger society completely flip on usā
tl;dr - a cis woman victim blaming gender diverse folk and gatekeeping them at the same time got banned.
No, age doesnāt invalidate alternative perspectives. That was the very point I was making. The user in question was using her age as an āelder queerā to invalidate the younger queer folk. She clearly included me in the āyoung queerā category in some of her coments. I pointed out my age to highlight that being an āelder queerā that has been exposed to awful shit isnāt an excuse to invalidate folks.
They way i read it their point, it was about people being aggressive in having their pronouns being respected, even in situations where thereās clearly no malice or when their pronouns just arenāt known. I have no clue if thatās actually happening, but if it is, i can imagine thatās not very benificial to the cause.
But yeah, they do seem to generalize too much, and then blame everything on the next generation. why donāt you just ban them for a week, and send them a message that while there might be something to their point, generalizing the heck out of it and blaiming the new generation for everything isnāt the solution either, and not the best way to approach this discussion.
Maybe a bit of empathy an genuine feedback can make them a good faith contributor that has similar experiences in their life?
Yes, thatās what sheās angry about, but itās not why she was banned.
Because then she just comes back and slips under the radar, and I have no way of knowing if anything is changed, unless I follow up on it. If she wants to access the instance, she can approach me and we can talk about what it will take. Itās permanent in the sense that it wonāt automatically expire, not in the sense that it canāt be removed.
You are more than welcome to make that attempt and have that discussion, however, in my experience, mods and admins reaching out after bans to try and have these conversations donāt change opinions, they just further inflame the sense of injustice the person is feeling.
I donāt have the resources or will to try and manually talk around every person who throws around bigotry for what they believe are genuine reasons, nor to expose the rest of the community to gatekeeping whilst they āwork through itā. And honestly, most folk who feel as strongly as she does arenāt open to being talked around in any case.