I have been going to therapy off and on for years and whenever I bring up my desire to date and my difficulties with it I have gotten back to just work on myself and online I have seen “if you aren’t happy alone you won’t be happy in a relationship”. I have major depression and have had it for years. Am I supposed to just hope it goes away? Wait until my entire life has passed?
Nah fuck that. If someone takes and interest in you and you have the capacity for it then go for it. Just don’t stop working on yourself. Probably want to avoid apps though, those won’t help your mental health.
E: it’s good to make clear early on what the other person is getting into though. That’s just part of communication and trust building, you know, the foundation of a relationship.
Yeah dating apps either frustrate me or discourage me so I am trying to avoid them. The trouble is that the alternatives are meeting people at hobby based clubs or approaching people while I am out and about which I don’t have the cajones for.
The point of hobbies and activity based social gathering is that you can focus on the activity until you’re comfortable enough with the people around you to talk to them. It’s fine if it takes a month or two to open up and engage more!
If you’re looking to date, just make sure the type of person you’re interested in would be in those same groups.
I wouldn’t know. It would probably take me months to figure out if the sort of people that attend these clubs would be dateable. I am no expert on hobby clubs but the little experience I have had with them is they tend to be small and hardcore. Since I am not hardcore about anything either due to personality or depression, it is difficult to gage if I have a place there.
Hardest part is going, being open to new types of clubs, and sticking to it.
I would say that volunteer work is generally a better experience as well for both things.
Like you said, clubs focus on the thing where good volunteer work is both about the work and the people.