I have been going to therapy off and on for years and whenever I bring up my desire to date and my difficulties with it I have gotten back to just work on myself and online I have seen “if you aren’t happy alone you won’t be happy in a relationship”. I have major depression and have had it for years. Am I supposed to just hope it goes away? Wait until my entire life has passed?
At this point I don’t think there will ever be a cure given how long I have lived with it. Part of me wants to date so that there is something humanly normal about my life, another part stays up late at night wishing there was someone to hug me when Im sad and someone to share my music, memes, and fan theories with, and part is just amorous I think. I’m not experienced enough with dating to even know how to avoid codependence. I haven’t been in such a relationship but I also would know what to look for other than not have low self esteem.
There might not be a cure. I know that I don’t expect mine to ever really go away. But even when it’s still present, the degree to which you have it under control is a broad spectrum.
And yes, it is much more difficult for those of us with serious depression to maintain a healthy level of self-esteem, but it is not impossible by any means
Experience with dating is not how you avoid it. Self-esteem and being comfortable without a relationship are. That’s why the advice is to get those things sorted first.