‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This Owl is no more! She has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'er maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed 'er to the perch 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Er metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, 'e’s shuffled off ‘er mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-OWL!!
No she’s not. She’s pining for the fjords!
‘E’s not pinin’! 'E’s passed on! This Owl is no more! She has ceased to be! 'E’s expired and gone to meet 'er maker! 'E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed 'er to the perch 'e’d be pushing up the daisies! 'Er metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E’s off the twig! 'E’s kicked the bucket, 'e’s shuffled off ‘er mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-OWL!!
You realise I am picturing Voldemort doing this with Harry and Hagrid staring at him in slight disbelief.
That would have made the Battle of Privet Drive a very different fight. And slightly more entertaining.
And now I am picturing this entire speech being done about Mad-Eye…
“This is an ex Auror!!”
That’s hilarious. Thank you.