You sound like my mom with her mother. Breaks my heart to watch it for decades. She refuses to admit that her mom is incapable of loving her the way she wants. At one point mom gave Grandma whole paycheck and got an allowance. This is like 10 years ago a ~50 yo women. All of us are going wtf. Result was no change, constant verbal abuse continues. I could write a book but short is Mom will do anything to keep the peace.

I always say I don’t understand why mom or grandma are how they are because actually had a loving mom. Love your kids.