Need to let loose a primal scream without collecting footnotes first? Have a sneer percolating in your system but not enough time/energy to make a whole post about it? Go forth and be mid: Welcome to the Stubsack, your first port of call for learning fresh Awful youā€™ll near-instantly regret.

Any awful.systems sub may be subsneered in this subthread, techtakes or no.

If your sneer seems higher quality than you thought, feel free to cutā€™nā€™paste it into its own post ā€” thereā€™s no quota for posting and the bar really isnā€™t that high.

The post Xitter web has spawned soo many ā€œesotericā€ right wing freaks, but thereā€™s no appropriate sneer-space for them. Iā€™m talking redscare-ish, reality challenged ā€œculture criticsā€ who write about everything but understand nothing. Iā€™m talking about reply-guys who make the same 6 tweets about the same 3 subjects. Theyā€™re inescapable at this point, yet I donā€™t see them mocked (as much as they should be)

Like, there was one dude a while back who insisted that women couldnā€™t be surgeons because they didnā€™t believe in the moon or in stars? I think each and every one of these guys is uniquely fucked up and if I canā€™t escape them, I would love to sneer at them.

(Credit and/or blame to David Gerard for starting this. Also, happy April Foolā€™s in advance.)

  • swlabr@awful.systems
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    22 hours ago

    Finally, someone has solved the political compass. No-one will ever come up with a new political spectrum again. Soon we will have world peace

    • bitofhope@awful.systems
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      15 hours ago

      This is only the beginning. Check these out!

      Chart 1

      Left edge of the image labeled ā€œProgressivismā€, right edge labeled ā€œLibertarianismā€.

      Above: A series of points on a horizontal line, each labeled with the name of a political ideology or system and a representative picture. Rightmost two of the dots are blue, others are red. From left to right:

      • Monarchism (crown)
      • Communism (red star with yellow hammer and sickle)
      • Liberalism (Democratic Party Donkey) and Socialism (red flag)
      • Nazism (swastika)
      • Conservatism (Republican Party elephant) and Fascism (fasces)
      • Anarchism (Circled letter A) and Democracy (no symbol)
      • Unlabeled dot
      • Republic (Statue of Liberty)

      Below: Flags labeled with political ideologies and systems. Arrangement of flags notated as [X, Y, Flag, Label] where X represents approximate relative distance from left edge and Y represents approximate relative distance from bottom edge.

      • 1, 5, China, Communism
      • 2, 4, Soviet Union, Socialism
      • 3, 3, Nazi Germany, Nazism
      • 3, 1, Likely fictitious flag featuring a green field with white crescent and star and a black tilted swastika on the crescent, Islamo-Fascism
      • 4, 2, War flag of the Italian Social Republic, Fascism
      • 7, 5, United States, Republic

      Chart 2

      A square chart divided in quadrants and colored with a gradient, which is symmetric with respect to the origin. Each quadrant is subdivided into a 19x19 grid. Axes are labeled and the labelsā€™ background colored as follows:

      X-axis left: ā€œPost-Modern Relativism/Religiosityā€ (blue), middle: ā€œStrong Fact Based Inter-subjective Analysisā€ (yellow), right: ā€˜Pseudo-Objective ā€œScienceā€ Worshipā€™ (blue).

      Y-axis top: ā€œStatus Quoā€ (red), middle: ā€œSwift, Pragmatic Reform for Social + Economic Justiceā€ (yellow), bottom: ā€œRegressive Revolutionaryā€ (red).

      Each quadrant it yellow at origin and purple near their respective outermost corners. The remaining corners are orange next to Y axis and green next to X axis.

      Caption At the bottom ā€œOn all axes, to be closer to the middle is to trend towards the path to an idealā€

      Labeled points by quadrant:

      Top left:

      • (-14, 19) Conservatism
      • (-16, 17) Corporate Buddhism
      • (-16, 8) New Age Populism

      Top Right:

      • (19, 19) Modern Fascism
      • (18, 15) Objectivism
      • (14, 14) Anarcho-Capitalism
      • (2, 12) Liberalism
      • (19, 11) New Atheism
      • (0, 6) Mutualism
      • (4, 5) Democratic Socialism
      • (11, 3) Second-Wave Feminism

      Bottom Left:

      • (-4, -1) Anti-Work Populism
      • (-14, -2) Third-Wave Feminism
      • (-19, -16) Jihadism
      • (-17, -19) Italian Fascism

      Bottom Right:

      • (1, -1) Post-Scarcity Anarchism
      • (1, -2) True Communism
      • (17, -7) Deweyite Progressivism
      • (1, -11) Anarcho-Communism
      • (19, -17) Nazism
      • (18, -19) Marxism-Leninism

      Chart 3

      A blue question mark shape on white background. Image titled ā€œMatt Boyleā€™s Question Mark Politicsā€. Ideologies and political figures are marked along the curve of the question mark, starting from the "upper end of the hook and towards the dot at the bottom:

      • Communism
      • Vladimir Lenin
      • Socialism
      • Bernie Sanders
      • Liberalism
      • Rand Paul
      • Conservatism
      • Ted Cruz
      • Fascism
      • Adolf Hitler

      On the dot at the bottom of the question mark:

      • Idiocy
      • Donald Trump

      Chart 4

      An equilateral triangle formed from four smaller congruent equilateral triangles (AKA a Triforce shape) with political ideologies written in bubble-style labels arranged as follows:

      • Top vertex: ā€œJihadistsā€
      • Inside the top triangle: ā€œIslamistsā€
      • Inside the inverted central triangle: ā€œSecular Liberalsā€
      • Inside the bottom left triangle: ā€œRegressive Leftā€
      • Inside the bottom right triangle: ā€œConservative Rightā€
      • Bottom left vertex: ā€œViolent Leftā€
      • Bottom right vertex: ā€œViolent Rightā€

      Written directly on the triangle edges without a bubble:

      • Between Islamists and Secular Liberals: ā€œLiberal Muslimsā€
      • Left of Regressive Left: ā€œPluralistsā€
      • Between Regressive Left and Secular Liberals: ā€œLiberal Leftistsā€
      • Between Secular Liberals and Conservative Right: ā€œConservative Liberalsā€
      • Right of Conservative Right: ā€œNationalistsā€
      • Below Regressive Left and right of Violent Left: ā€œAntifa Fascistsā€
      • Below Conservative Right and left of Violent Right: ā€œFascistsā€

      Chart 5

      X-axis goes from ā€œSOCIALISMā€ on the left to ā€œCORPORATISMā€ on the right. Y-axis goes from ā€œLIBERTYā€ at the top to ā€œTYRANNYā€ at the bottom. On the Y-axis lies a thick double arrow labeled ā€œGOVERNMENTā€ and colored with a gradient from white at the top arrowhead labeled ā€œLESSā€ to red on the bottom arrowhead labeled ā€œMOREā€, resembling a compass needle.

      Near the top left and right corners of the diagram are labels ā€œLEFTā€ and ā€œRIGHTā€, respectively.

      Around the arrowā€™s shaft is a yellow circle of curved directional arrows, each pointing along the arc towards the bottom of the circle.

      Dashed lines from the top of the diagram curve around the needle and yellow circle similarly to magnetic field lines, converge back towards the center below the compass, and end in downward pointing arrowheads.

      Arranged around the yellow circle in terms of clock face hour hand positions:

      • 1 oā€™clock: ā€œINDEPENDENTSā€
      • 2 oā€™clock: ā€œCLASSICAL CONSERVATIVESā€
      • 5 oā€™clock: ā€œNEO-CONSERVATIVESā€
      • 7 oā€™clock: ā€œPROGRESSIVES/NEO-LIBERALSā€
      • 10 oā€™clock: ā€œCLASSICAL LIBERALSā€
      • 11 oā€™clock: ā€œLIBERTARIANSā€

      The left half of the X-axis is labeled ā€œLIBERALSā€ above and ā€œDEMOCRATSā€ on the bottom and a blue donkey symbol next to the needle. The right half is similarly labeled ā€œCONSERVATIVESā€ and ā€œREPUBLICANSā€ with a red elephant symbol.

      Above and below the X-axis are dashed horizontal lines. The area between the dashed lines is labeled ā€œMODERATESā€. The top dashed line is labeled ā€œLibertarianismā€ with arrows pointing upwards and the bottom dashed line is labeled ā€œSecular Moralismā€ with arrows pointing downwards.

      The top left of the moderates area is labeled ā€œJEFFERSONIANā€, top right is ā€œJACKSONIANā€, bottom left is ā€œWILSONIANā€ and bottom right ā€œHAMILTONIANā€.

      The field lines converging in from the left/right sides of the compass towards the bottom pass by labels ā€œPOLITICALLY CORRECTā€/ā€œPIOUSLY CORRECTā€, ā€œECONOMIC INTERVENTIONISMā€/ā€œMILITARY INTERVENTIONISMā€, ā€œCOMMUNISMā€/ā€œTHEOCRACYā€, respectively. They meed in the middle and pass through ā€œCOLLECTIVISMā€, ā€œFASCISMā€ and ā€œTOTALITARIANISMā€.

      Chart 6

      Blue circle labeled ā€œPatriarchyā€ partially covering a pink circle labeled ā€œMatriarchyā€. Left side represents ā€œGender Atheismā€, right side ā€œSexuality Atheismā€. Yellow arrow pointing from top left to bottom right labeled ā€œAxis of Careā€. Red arrow from bottom left to top right labeled ā€œAxis of Knowledgeā€ The intersection of the axes of Care and Knowledge is labeled ā€œMarket Economyā€.

      Left of the Patriarchy circle is ā€œMenā€™s Rights Movementā€ and to the right of the circle is ā€œFourth-Wave Feminismā€. Left of the Matriarchy circle is ā€œRadical Feminismā€ and to the right ā€œLiberal Feminismā€.

      Labels connected by small black arrows are arranged on the circles like so:

      Near the bottom end of the Axis of Knowledge is ā€œCultural Marxismā€, from which an arrow points along the axis to ā€˜ā€œTrueā€ Anarchyā€™. Slightly further along the axis, close to the overlapping edge of the blue circle is ā€œSoft Sciencesā€ from which arrows point in two directions. The first one points towards the arrowhead at the bottom end of Axis of Care. On the arrowhead is ā€œWelfare Stateā€, which leads to ā€œLeft Totalitarianismā€ at the tip of the arrow, then to ā€œMarxism-Leninismā€ to the left and back to Welfare State.

      The second path from Soft sciences is three consecutive arrows following the edge of the Patriarchy circle to ā€œPositivist Materialismā€ at the tip of the Axis of Knowledge arrow, which leads to ā€œReal Anarchyā€ on the arrowhead. Between Market Economy and Real Anarchy on the Axis of Knowledge is ā€œHard Sciencesā€, from which another three arrow chain along the covered edge of Matriarchy circle leads to Cultural Marxism.

      Opposite to Real Anarchy, on the Patriarchy side of Axis of Care is ā€œTheocracyā€, which leads backwards on the Axis to ā€œRight Totalitarianismā€, to ā€œAustrian Schoolā€ on the right, and again through Positivist Materialism to Real Anarchy.

      Transcriptions for the last two will be in follow-up reply. Iā€™m hitting the character limit.

      • swlabr@awful.systems
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        17 hours ago

        LOL itā€™s almost as if the prerequisite to making a political compass is to be completely fucked in the head

        • swlabr@awful.systems
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          17 hours ago

          Whatā€™s almost causing me to spiral is the commonality of socialism and communism being portrayed as on the road to monarchism. Iā€™m not spiralling because I very quickly realise that these are all made by idiots, and/or that what they are focusing on is the perception of socialism and communism as being authoritarian.

          That and ā€œantifa fascistsā€ in chart 4. AKA the Scists. lol

      • bitofhope@awful.systems
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        14 hours ago
        Chart 7

        ā€œTHE REAL POLITICAL SPECTRUMā€

        On the left ā€œSERVANTS OF THE AEONSā€, humanoid energy beings among space nebulae. On the right ā€œSLAVES OF THE ARCHONSā€, reptilian humanoids.

        The spectrum from left to right, with symbols in parentheses:

        • Gnosis(Ringed cross): Release from the mortal coil renders politics useless. All achieve oneness with the Monad and harmony is restored to the cosmos. See: The Nag Hammadi Library
        • Erisianism (chaos star): Total freedom. Management of affairs is unnecessary as universally well aligned chakras promote benevolent behaviour from all. See: Atlantis
        • Syndicalism (five-pointed star): Public participation in institutions is combined with no state. Affairs are managed at the local level. See: The Pirate Kingdom of Libertalia
        • Libertarianism (Gadsden rattlesnake): Public oversight of institutions is combined with a limited state. Affairs are managed at the local level. See: Early United States
        • Republicanism (classical colonnade): Influence of industry and finance on the state is controlled by a constitution and a system of check and balances. See: Early United States
        • Corporatocracy (dollar sign): State and industry form a de-facto alliance. Resource allocation subject to secret policy favouring the elite. See: The United States, European Union
        • Communism (hammer and sickle): Industry and state inseparable. Resource allocation subject to central policy. See: Soviet Russia, North Korea
        • Fascism (swastika): Industry and state inseparable. Resource allocation and reproduction subject to central policy. Eugenics in effect. See: Nazi Germany.
        • Monarchism (crown): All resources under the authority of hereditary elite. Elite practices eugenics in its own ranks. Underclass viewed as different species. See*: Feudal Europe*
        • Illuminism (eye of providence): Elite and underclass now form two distinct species. All worldā€™s resources controlled by the elite. All activities subject to central policy. See: Brave New World, Nineteen-Eighty Four
        Chart 8

        A conventional two-axis (Left/Right, Authoritarian/Libertarian) political compass chart. Authoritarian left, authoritarian right, and libertarian right all represented by a spooky profile portrait of Max Stirner smoking a cigar. Libertarian Left quadrant contains a smaller image of the diagram itself, which contains still smaller image of the diagram itself, except the libertarian left quadrant says ā€œdecentralized chomskian anarcho-molotov-cocktailismā€ in unreadably small type.

        I feel Iā€™ve lost enough sanity transcribing these that Iā€™m almost ready to make a political compass chart myself.