Need to let loose a primal scream without collecting footnotes first? Have a sneer percolating in your system but not enough time/energy to make a whole post about it? Go forth and be mid: Welcome to the Stubsack, your first port of call for learning fresh Awful youāll near-instantly regret.
Any awful.systems sub may be subsneered in this subthread, techtakes or no.
If your sneer seems higher quality than you thought, feel free to cutānāpaste it into its own post ā thereās no quota for posting and the bar really isnāt that high.
The post Xitter web has spawned soo many āesotericā right wing freaks, but thereās no appropriate sneer-space for them. Iām talking redscare-ish, reality challenged āculture criticsā who write about everything but understand nothing. Iām talking about reply-guys who make the same 6 tweets about the same 3 subjects. Theyāre inescapable at this point, yet I donāt see them mocked (as much as they should be)
Like, there was one dude a while back who insisted that women couldnāt be surgeons because they didnāt believe in the moon or in stars? I think each and every one of these guys is uniquely fucked up and if I canāt escape them, I would love to sneer at them.
(Credit and/or blame to David Gerard for starting this. Also, happy April Foolās in advance.)
Finally, someone has solved the political compass. No-one will ever come up with a new political spectrum again. Soon we will have world peace
This is only the beginning. Check these out!
Chart 1
Left edge of the image labeled āProgressivismā, right edge labeled āLibertarianismā.
Above: A series of points on a horizontal line, each labeled with the name of a political ideology or system and a representative picture. Rightmost two of the dots are blue, others are red. From left to right:
Below: Flags labeled with political ideologies and systems. Arrangement of flags notated as [X, Y, Flag, Label] where X represents approximate relative distance from left edge and Y represents approximate relative distance from bottom edge.
Chart 2
A square chart divided in quadrants and colored with a gradient, which is symmetric with respect to the origin. Each quadrant is subdivided into a 19x19 grid. Axes are labeled and the labelsā background colored as follows:
X-axis left: āPost-Modern Relativism/Religiosityā (blue), middle: āStrong Fact Based Inter-subjective Analysisā (yellow), right: āPseudo-Objective āScienceā Worshipā (blue).
Y-axis top: āStatus Quoā (red), middle: āSwift, Pragmatic Reform for Social + Economic Justiceā (yellow), bottom: āRegressive Revolutionaryā (red).
Each quadrant it yellow at origin and purple near their respective outermost corners. The remaining corners are orange next to Y axis and green next to X axis.
Caption At the bottom āOn all axes, to be closer to the middle is to trend towards the path to an idealā
Labeled points by quadrant:
Top left:
Top Right:
Bottom Left:
Bottom Right:
Chart 3
A blue question mark shape on white background. Image titled āMatt Boyleās Question Mark Politicsā. Ideologies and political figures are marked along the curve of the question mark, starting from the "upper end of the hook and towards the dot at the bottom:
On the dot at the bottom of the question mark:
Chart 4
An equilateral triangle formed from four smaller congruent equilateral triangles (AKA a Triforce shape) with political ideologies written in bubble-style labels arranged as follows:
Written directly on the triangle edges without a bubble:
Chart 5
X-axis goes from āSOCIALISMā on the left to āCORPORATISMā on the right. Y-axis goes from āLIBERTYā at the top to āTYRANNYā at the bottom. On the Y-axis lies a thick double arrow labeled āGOVERNMENTā and colored with a gradient from white at the top arrowhead labeled āLESSā to red on the bottom arrowhead labeled āMOREā, resembling a compass needle.
Near the top left and right corners of the diagram are labels āLEFTā and āRIGHTā, respectively.
Around the arrowās shaft is a yellow circle of curved directional arrows, each pointing along the arc towards the bottom of the circle.
Dashed lines from the top of the diagram curve around the needle and yellow circle similarly to magnetic field lines, converge back towards the center below the compass, and end in downward pointing arrowheads.
Arranged around the yellow circle in terms of clock face hour hand positions:
The left half of the X-axis is labeled āLIBERALSā above and āDEMOCRATSā on the bottom and a blue donkey symbol next to the needle. The right half is similarly labeled āCONSERVATIVESā and āREPUBLICANSā with a red elephant symbol.
Above and below the X-axis are dashed horizontal lines. The area between the dashed lines is labeled āMODERATESā. The top dashed line is labeled āLibertarianismā with arrows pointing upwards and the bottom dashed line is labeled āSecular Moralismā with arrows pointing downwards.
The top left of the moderates area is labeled āJEFFERSONIANā, top right is āJACKSONIANā, bottom left is āWILSONIANā and bottom right āHAMILTONIANā.
The field lines converging in from the left/right sides of the compass towards the bottom pass by labels āPOLITICALLY CORRECTā/āPIOUSLY CORRECTā, āECONOMIC INTERVENTIONISMā/āMILITARY INTERVENTIONISMā, āCOMMUNISMā/āTHEOCRACYā, respectively. They meed in the middle and pass through āCOLLECTIVISMā, āFASCISMā and āTOTALITARIANISMā.
Chart 6
Blue circle labeled āPatriarchyā partially covering a pink circle labeled āMatriarchyā. Left side represents āGender Atheismā, right side āSexuality Atheismā. Yellow arrow pointing from top left to bottom right labeled āAxis of Careā. Red arrow from bottom left to top right labeled āAxis of Knowledgeā The intersection of the axes of Care and Knowledge is labeled āMarket Economyā.
Left of the Patriarchy circle is āMenās Rights Movementā and to the right of the circle is āFourth-Wave Feminismā. Left of the Matriarchy circle is āRadical Feminismā and to the right āLiberal Feminismā.
Labels connected by small black arrows are arranged on the circles like so:
Near the bottom end of the Axis of Knowledge is āCultural Marxismā, from which an arrow points along the axis to āāTrueā Anarchyā. Slightly further along the axis, close to the overlapping edge of the blue circle is āSoft Sciencesā from which arrows point in two directions. The first one points towards the arrowhead at the bottom end of Axis of Care. On the arrowhead is āWelfare Stateā, which leads to āLeft Totalitarianismā at the tip of the arrow, then to āMarxism-Leninismā to the left and back to Welfare State.
The second path from Soft sciences is three consecutive arrows following the edge of the Patriarchy circle to āPositivist Materialismā at the tip of the Axis of Knowledge arrow, which leads to āReal Anarchyā on the arrowhead. Between Market Economy and Real Anarchy on the Axis of Knowledge is āHard Sciencesā, from which another three arrow chain along the covered edge of Matriarchy circle leads to Cultural Marxism.
Opposite to Real Anarchy, on the Patriarchy side of Axis of Care is āTheocracyā, which leads backwards on the Axis to āRight Totalitarianismā, to āAustrian Schoolā on the right, and again through Positivist Materialism to Real Anarchy.
Transcriptions for the last two will be in follow-up reply. Iām hitting the character limit.
none of these are complete without posadism
Charts 5 and 7 in particular are giving Pyramid Power and/or Flat Earth.
LOL itās almost as if the prerequisite to making a political compass is to be completely fucked in the head
Whatās almost causing me to spiral is the commonality of socialism and communism being portrayed as on the road to monarchism. Iām not spiralling because I very quickly realise that these are all made by idiots, and/or that what they are focusing on is the perception of socialism and communism as being authoritarian.
That and āantifa fascistsā in chart 4. AKA the Scists. lol
yeah the āantifa fascistsā absolutely sent me
Chart 7
āTHE REAL POLITICAL SPECTRUMā
On the left āSERVANTS OF THE AEONSā, humanoid energy beings among space nebulae. On the right āSLAVES OF THE ARCHONSā, reptilian humanoids.
The spectrum from left to right, with symbols in parentheses:
Chart 8
A conventional two-axis (Left/Right, Authoritarian/Libertarian) political compass chart. Authoritarian left, authoritarian right, and libertarian right all represented by a spooky profile portrait of Max Stirner smoking a cigar. Libertarian Left quadrant contains a smaller image of the diagram itself, which contains still smaller image of the diagram itself, except the libertarian left quadrant says ādecentralized chomskian anarcho-molotov-cocktailismā in unreadably small type.
I feel Iāve lost enough sanity transcribing these that Iām almost ready to make a political compass chart myself.
holy shit some of these are beyond cursed