I posted this in the wrong meme community. Reposting here.
I’m AMAB who has always felt a little uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m decently comfortable occupying my body, but I do wish it was easier/more acceptable to transition. I had a dream last night that I was at a doctor’s office and I was starting HRT. It has put me in a funk all day.
To be honest, I consider myself fluid enough to continue identifying as a man to anyone but myself. I just wish I could live two lives. Or go back and make the decision to transition when I was younger. I am a stereotypical guy: hairier than not, chubbier than not, deep brow, gnarled hands, etc. I don’t really think I could ever feel truly “woman enough” to feel comfortable trying out the other side of the gender spectrum. I’ve tried growing my hair, piercing my ears, and wearing a teeny bit of eye liner, but it just never looked right on me. I just looked a bit weird.
I’m venting here to hopefully deal with the funky vibes my dream gave me. I’ve never been this open with any audience: virtual or physical. So, apologies if this is coming off a bit transphobic in any way.
I’d feel awful. But - to my credit - I have explored these concepts with her. We are quite open with each other. When I came out as bi to her, I point blank asked her if she’d consider dating/sleeping with a woman and she was pretty adamant that there was no circumstance in which she would. Because I feel only mild dysphoria, I don’t feel like I’m hiding from her entirely. Maybe you’re right though. I might broach the subject to her more casually. I should at least be honest about how I feel - even if I don’t necessarily intend on acting on my feelings. I guess I’ve always felt like talking to her about it would be me “coming out”, but I suppose I can frame it more honestly: as a mild dysphoria I occasionally feel, but don’t need to upend our lives to explore. I’m speaking off the cuff here so I hope I’m making sense.
It makes perfect sense to me and it sounds like a good way to broach the topic with her.