- You get to keep all your current memories and knowledge.
- Everyone/everything else is a clean slate.
- You’re starting now (not going back to the past).
I would not mention as much of my personal life as I did.
People are going to make decisions based on more than just merit.
It might not be fair, done consciously, or with malice, but it happens.
I was going to write very much the same thing.
I’ve given too much information about my health, and now it gets used against me.
Your employer, managers, supervisors; they’re not you’re friends. You can and should remain friendly to an extent, but be careful what information you give away.
I like that… “Remain friendly, but remember they’re not your friends”.
Yep, the only thing I’ve let slip is that I volunteer at a non profit.
How does it feel like that has worked against you? [How could anyone possibly weaponize this [unless the non-profit is like Burning War-Orphan Flags and War-Orphans of America or something]?].
There’s a certain voting population that sees even that as weakness. I’m sure you can figure that one out.
If it’s not the supporters of the Killary Klinton Krime family then I don’t even want to know. (Thank you for volunteering—it’s rad!).
Demand my wfh arrangement be in writing, rather than just a “gentleman’s agreement”
It’s like a corporate prenup.
I would do it all over again but I would do the bare minimum. I would do what my job duties entailed in my contract and never give any extra.
Its a bad deal doing extra at an employer expecting a raise or job security. You do the extra to learn the newer/better skill, gain the experience, then take those new skills to a new employer who will pay you more for having it. This is how you move up the ladder in the 21st century.
It’s so sad but this is completely true.
Anywhere that I’ve learned a new skill in hopes of getting a promotion, the response has either been “why did you waste time learning that? That’s not your job.” or more commonly “great initiative! Now we can add that work to your workload without having to pay you a cent more! This is great management because we can have one employee do the job of 1.5, and we didn’t even have to pay to train them! Thanks for that and here’s your extra work! Deadlines and expectations remain the same on your old work of course.”
In a few cases, once that inevitably led to job change, they had the gall to try and shame me with a line like, “You know, that’s a skill you learned under this roof, to do work for this company. While we are professionals here, if we weren’t, this might feel like a betrayal…”
Absolutely this. Sadly these days hard work is very rarely rewarded!
I wouldn’t make it obvious who my work besties are.
- It’s assumed that you’ll gossip with that person, so you won’t get any info that they can’t hear.
- If they’re more than 1 level junior to you, it will take longer to get promotions and raises since you’ll be “junior” by association.
- If they’re the same level and in your team (and they’re a poor performer), you won’t get promoted because it’s assumed you’ll play favorites as their boss.
Sucks. Some of them were not professional and it impacted my optics. I need to pick better friends and set healthier boundaries.
The idea of work friends is a real concern. It only ever works against you, I’ve found. Be friendly with everyone, but don’t become friends.
Hasn’t been my experience at all. I have made some big moves in my career thanks to making friends at work and staying in touch.
Letting it bleed so much into life. My job and my hobby (code) have significant overlap. Stuff I learned on the job started making hobby coding not fun and shortcomings at the job started to feel like my own personal failures. I am slowly learning to separate my work and personal identities, to understand that my employer’s stuff is not my own, and to leave work at work when work ends. I wish I had done that from the first day though.
Seeing as I’m self employed, not much. Or maybe everything - could go either way.
I hadn’t considered that perspective!
What’s an example of something you’d change?
I would have refused to participate in that Foosball tournament that a coworker begged me to be in because he needed an even number for teams.
A disaster, seriously.
last time we had a foosball tournament, I was made to play on my own against teams of two.
I think it helped me not being slowed down by someone less capable. I won against the other 4 teams on my own.
I don’t think they will make me play on my own again lol
I wouldn’t have befriended my one coworker so I wouldn’t be so upset when they left
Just because they left doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends!
It kind of does when they move across the country
That’s what the internet is for! :)
Idk…they aren’t chronically online like I am. They lead a very busy life and probably didn’t even like me much to begin with.
I would try to believe in myself as much as my employer believed in me. My imposture syndrome for the first couple years was absolutely rank.
Mine is still so bad that my next goal is to move in to a work from home position.
Wfh doesn’t necessarily help with imposter syndrome. I’ve been wfh for a couple years now, and I still feel like I’m just playing an admin rather than having earned my senior position lol
That’s how I feel about working in office lol. I’m busting my ass trying to get more education so I can change position, but my office wants me to be admin forever, and adding that to the feeling like I shouldn’t even be there is pointing me in the WFH direction.
Quit 10 years sooner.
I would not have forgotten my phone. Yesterday was my first day
Congrats on the new job!
Thanks!
But you already knew not to forget your phone.
You’re starting now (not going back to the past).
This makes it a bit more difficult since I designed most of the architecture at my work. It would take a lot of work to be taken seriously again and not have my opinion being discarded because I’m the newcomer.
I would have to prove myself all over again though, not something I’d look forward to.
In that case, if you could keep your reputation would that change your answer?
Hmmm… I’m quite happy with my work and the benefits I get. I guess if I got to restart I would make some more friends in the right places from the beginning. It’s something I learned only later on that it helps to be on good terms with those higher up, in case you need some support with budgets or priorities.
And vice versa, I would also be more careful with not pissing people off. Early on in my job I ruined a few relationships by being a prissy bitch about how things were supposed to be done, instead of being a bit more open minded. Looking back on it I inwardly cringe at how I acted back then. That’s definitely something I would not repeat, I like to think I’ve grown a bit emotionally since :)
Thanks for sharing. That’s pretty insightful and relatable.
Stop acting like I’m worthless with low self-esteem. I don’t know why I present myself that way. I’m a valuable competent skilled employee who passes background checks squeaky clean. Someone smack me and tell me to present myself as I deserve.
I even declined the hiring bonus because I felt unworthy of it although I meet all the criteria for it 🤦♀️ But really what I did was tell my managers that I’d rather be given the hiring bonus after I’ve been there a year because I’ve heard that some companies have a stipulation in the contract of hiring bonuses that should anything happen within the first year of my employment that causes me to stop working there, I would have to repay the bonus, so I kept it in mind that if I ever got a job that promised a hiring bonus, I would discuss it with the manager to have the bonus given to me at the end of a year. well I told my managers this and they told me I would have to talk to a higher up manager about it and they told me her name but I forgot, and they didn’t even look me in the eye when they said this and I just kind of never followed up on it.
Instead of hearing about the bonus maybe being pulled back… just read the contract?
And even if you would have to give it back… just park it until its free to use (assuming you dont actually need it)There’s no mention of the hiring bonus in the contract. The hiring bonus was mentioned in the advertisement for the job on ZipRecruiter. I screenshotted it and one of my managers even mentioned it during our initial interview and told me I’m qualified for it so I know it’s real and I have evidence of it. I’m still just laying here in bed in my pajamas not dealing with it. But I’m going to work tomorrow as scheduled.
as to your other point, over my concern of receiving the bonus and not spending it for a year, impossible that I would not spend that if I had it. I live less than paycheck to paycheck which is why I spend so much time on Lemmy because I don’t have enough money to do the things that I would rather be doing. I just sit here when I’m not working and I pay my bills and all my money’s gone then I go to work and pay my bills and just sit here cuz there is no money left to do anything.
mhh… ianal, but if its not mentioned that its pulled back or under which circumstances you will get the bonus, then they cant do much.
But unfortunately in the end the one with the most ressources will be able to intimidate theother one… so can be risky
I hate how being humble and having integrity can translate to being taken advantage of in a toxic relationship.
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No. It’s not even very much. Anyway I guarantee I need it and would appreciate it more than any random internet stranger asking me to hand it over to them.
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Is it possible to have two cell numbers on one phone?
I’d give out my burner number if anyone outside of HR asked for my contact info.
Google voice has been around for like 15 years. It’s your perm number, that your direct calls to your real number as you like/don’t like.
Personally I give out work number that is semi permanent and fam/friends get GV #. I use one message app for work # and one for GV. Allows me to pay attention/prioritize during work/personal time.
Been doing this for more than 12 years. 8 employers, no worries.
This is perfect, thanks!
You must use your Google voice phone number often enough for them not to disable it. I had a Google voice number. Used it infrequently. They disabled it.
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Yep, dual sim is a thing. However, my employer wants full control of the phone so they provided an iPhone. (I’m an Android user) The biggest pro of 2 phones is that you can silence the work phone outside work hours.
With my 1st temp job ('99) I told my boss that the best feature on the work phone the power button was. The moment I left the building it would be turned off. Alas, those modern phones have a complete sequence to go trough to get them off, so I now use the automated do not desturb. Alas, iPhone has only times you can set daily, instead weekday dependent times. Between 18:00 and 7:00 the thing is quiet, no exceptions.
Interesting! Can work track your location via your work phone?
Yep, when they have control overthe phone, yep. This iPhone tells me it’s managed by my organisation so they can do what they want with it, including looking up the location of the device.
Thank you for confirming. If I have to get a work phone in the future, I’ll get a separate device.
Yes. Most modern phones are dual-sim. New Google Pixels, new iPhones, All Xiaomis afaik.
You can give them phone number A and then completely disable that sim out of work hours.
Edit: also you can have “virtual” phone numbers that you just use inside an app on your phone, but they don’t do as much as a normal mobile number so I personally wouldn’t take my chances.
Interesting!!
Do you know if it would it be cheaper to have a second SIM card or a virtual phone number?
Depends where you live. MoreMins lets you buy a virtual phone number for about €4/mo if I remember right, which is wayy cheaper than anything physical you can get anything here in Australia.
Thanks!
Yes. Dual sim phones are a thing.
Although, I would give the same number to all work related matters to keep the other one personal.
Or not give it out at all. If your workplace requires you to be contacted via mobile or to access work email/apps etc, they should provide it.
Thanks for the link!
I wouldn’t take the job.
People that hired me are not the people running the joint now. And the current people are pretty terrible.
Similar situation for me, as well. My company’s taken a turn that’s very successful for the C-suites, but more and more stressful for the rest of us and I’m becoming majorly burnt out.
Same here, the manager hiring me left before my employment started. I was a contractor that joined, so I already knew most of the team. Alas, management destroyed the fun in the job. Way to much work, no new knowledged colleagues but we got a truckload of managers to work agile.
