Hiya ladies,
With my hair growing, nails manicured, and eyebrows shaped, it’s going to become harder and harder to boymode inconspicuously around family or friends (only my partner knows). On the other side of that, I’m nowhere near passing or even presenting femme in public, which makes the idea of coming out quite scary as they’re seeing masculinity when I’m declaring femininity.
Part of me wants to wait like two years and then one day suddenly appear as my new completely feminine (hopefully beautiful!) self without any warning or advance notice! So people see the best version of myself, rather than seeing the mid-transition mess I am right now (or pre-transition mess I was!). But realistically I know that’s not gonna work!
So I’d love to hear some coming out stories and when in your transition you decided it was right for you! And how those you came out to responded, if you’re comfortable sharing that!
For me, I was 16, and my Mom noticed that I had done certain things, such as shaving my legs and painting my nails. She brought me into her room and asked me what was going on. I didn’t really feel ready to tell her yet, so I just looked at her in silence. She asked me a million questions and eventually she asked me if I’m trans. I still wasn’t ready yet, but I also didn’t want to lie either, so I didn’t say anything. She asked me again, and I knew she was on to me, so I gave a sheepish little nod. She told me she loved me and gave me a hug, although she did have a bit of prejudice towards me at first, but she gradually became more accepting over time.
Imo, it is better to come out sooner rather than later. If they have prejudice towards you but still love you, they will come around eventually. I think that because the people around me have gotten to see me progress through my transition, it is helped them to more easily see me as human. Of course, come out when you are ready. It sucks to not be able to come out in the way you want to, and being that I was forced out early, I’m not sure what the experience is like if you come out later. My thoughts are that because humans tend to not like new things, their reaction might be a bit harsher if you come out later.