That’s a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn’t be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.
And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t need to hear that.
Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?
If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.
Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from
your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.
Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family’s safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis???
You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!
There is a gigantic difference between “there’s a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about.” And “your kid isn’t white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more.”
One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just “sucks to not be white.” It’s pretty much useless negativity.
I didn’t need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn’t need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I’d rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren’t born then, and they aren’t going to hear that story.
Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn’t an immediate threat that I ignored.
I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
The less “white” someone is, the more likely it is for them to experience negative social, economic, and medical outcomes; this is because the United States is a racist country that intentionally disregards people of color.
I’m not sure why it’s improper for a friend to acknowledge that unfortunate truth. It’s reality, and clearly you agree with its conclusions on some level if you left the country yourself
If you are an idiot or a cunt now is the time to assure us it isn’t both.
Is this allowed under the rules of moderation?
Regardless, obviously talking about a white race is a concerning thing to do. But the rest of the conversation did not appear racist at all.
In racist countries such as the United States, a mixed race child will have worse outcomes than a “White” child. Which seems to be what this former friend was saying. Idk why that’s so wrong - it’s literally a progressive talking point since 2014, and, really, since the 1960s and the Civil Rights Movement
The comments were not in the interest of helping the child. The comments were in the interest of criticising the parent, for having a family with a person they love.
You are arguing that a person’s lived experiences are akchually different from what his perception was. There was no constructive or uplifting discussion following the factoid being shared. If the “friend” was telling him that some principal went to a cross burning, or some boyscout group leader has SS tattoos, that would have been useful and actionable for the parents. But he didn’t. The advice was, you shouldn’t have done that. Some cunt advice from a supposed “friend”.
If you still don’t see the problem, you are a dumb cunt, and sympathizer for racists. Go choke on something rusty you dumb cunt.
So let’s go over this interaction you’re having here:
• This person described a traumatic life event wherein they are given unbidden “advice” that pretty obviously comes from a place of outright racism, no matter how you wanna dog-whistle it.
• You started giving them the exact same unbidden advice.
Do you not feel comically villainous? This is clearly not the time nor the place for this shit, anyone with basic empathy would know that. You’re going way the fuck out of your way just to be an asshole, it’s such a sad way to spend your time.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
If that were the whole of the situation you might have a point, but you miss out on most nuance and context when you boil it down to “someone who does X is good”
A racist saying that a mixed race child will experience more hardship than a “White” child is just as correct as a NAACP spokesperson saying the same thing. This country is structurally racist, which has real consequences for everyone according to their skin color and ability to pass as “White.”
Given that, idk what the friend did wrong - aside from apparently talking about “The White Race,” which is always a weird thing to do, of course
I really appreciate you bringing the context back into the discussion, hot damn! Honestly, that’s a much more measured and reasonable response than my snarky comment should deserve lmao
I’m not trying to argue that the friend in OP’s story is a racist because of that comment. I do, however, think that OP probably had other reasons to cast this particular interaction as having racist intentions. I’m obviously assuming things about the situation beyond the information provided, but so is the other so-and-so that I’m being an asshole to. Only that individual is also like, harassing the teller of the story over it?
Either way I’m way too invested in this thread, hope you’re having a good day!
Ummm what? Can you elaborate on this further I don’t think I’ve heard this one before.
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That’s a horrible story. I had an aquaintance tell me when I was early 20s that when I had kids they wouldn’t be as valuable as our friends kids. Why? Because our friends kids are white.
And, at least in the US, that piece of shit wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t need to hear that.
Did he say valuable, or valued?
Also why do you not need to hear that? Are you planning to ignore the challenges your kids will face? Like … what the fuck is with these parents cutting people out of their lives when they deliver bad news about their kids’ environment?
If someone came to me and said “Hey there’s a coyote outside tonight so don’t let your kids out”, and I said “Well maybe that’s true but I don’t need to hear that shit” then cut them out of my life, I’d see myself as having failed as a parent right there.
Your job is to keep your eyes open, not take steps to purge unpleasant information from your life. I’d be disgusted if you didn’t have kids, but since you adopted the responsibility of having kids and are taking this comfort-over-awareness policy, it’s appalling.
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Removed by mod
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Fuck both your ex-friend and the internet weirdo arguing with you about your family’s safety and value, holy shit. Who asked for their toxic parenting advice/analysis???
You made a decision based on your priorities, and I hope you and your family are doing well, and your child is THRIVING!
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How the fuck is anything I said arguing about this person’s family’s value??
What the fuck?
Not sure if you read my last comment at all but it was a lot of effort to identify and step away from assumptions I made.
Sorry you’re an emotional wreck right now. Hope you feel better soon.
Not a lot of people here will say this, but props for recognizing you were in the wrong here. It’s not easy to do.
You should slap your father for not having the common decency to wipe you on the curtains.
There is a gigantic difference between “there’s a dangerous animal outside that you can do something about.” And “your kid isn’t white (absolutely nothing you can do about that) so their life might suck more.”
One of those you can actually do something about, the other is just “sucks to not be white.” It’s pretty much useless negativity.
I didn’t need to hear it because I lived it and already knew the reality for non white kids growing up here. I didn’t need a middle aged white man telling me how it is. And I’d rather cut someone like that out of my life for myself, my kids weren’t born then, and they aren’t going to hear that story.
Your coyote analogy is flawed. This wasn’t an immediate threat that I ignored.
I know what my job is as a parent, probably better than you do.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
The less “white” someone is, the more likely it is for them to experience negative social, economic, and medical outcomes; this is because the United States is a racist country that intentionally disregards people of color.
I’m not sure why it’s improper for a friend to acknowledge that unfortunate truth. It’s reality, and clearly you agree with its conclusions on some level if you left the country yourself
You seemed to have missed
which implies that the mixed race kid is dragging down whites
If you are an idiot or a cunt now is the time to assure us it isn’t both.
Is this allowed under the rules of moderation?
Regardless, obviously talking about a white race is a concerning thing to do. But the rest of the conversation did not appear racist at all.
In racist countries such as the United States, a mixed race child will have worse outcomes than a “White” child. Which seems to be what this former friend was saying. Idk why that’s so wrong - it’s literally a progressive talking point since 2014, and, really, since the 1960s and the Civil Rights Movement
Alright it is both.
The comments were not in the interest of helping the child. The comments were in the interest of criticising the parent, for having a family with a person they love.
You are arguing that a person’s lived experiences are akchually different from what his perception was. There was no constructive or uplifting discussion following the factoid being shared. If the “friend” was telling him that some principal went to a cross burning, or some boyscout group leader has SS tattoos, that would have been useful and actionable for the parents. But he didn’t. The advice was, you shouldn’t have done that. Some cunt advice from a supposed “friend”.
If you still don’t see the problem, you are a dumb cunt, and sympathizer for racists. Go choke on something rusty you dumb cunt.
Oh look, another tantalising opportunity to relive my worst memories. Thanks buddy.
You’re being a crybully about telling a story that doesn’t make sense
Rates of suicide are higher in mixed race kids.
What kind of elaboration are you looking for?
So let’s go over this interaction you’re having here:
• This person described a traumatic life event wherein they are given unbidden “advice” that pretty obviously comes from a place of outright racism, no matter how you wanna dog-whistle it.
• You started giving them the exact same unbidden advice.
Do you not feel comically villainous? This is clearly not the time nor the place for this shit, anyone with basic empathy would know that. You’re going way the fuck out of your way just to be an asshole, it’s such a sad way to spend your time.
Someone correctly indicating that mixed race children have lower standards of living in racist countries such as the United States is not someone who should be shunned
If that were the whole of the situation you might have a point, but you miss out on most nuance and context when you boil it down to “someone who does X is good”
A racist saying that a mixed race child will experience more hardship than a “White” child is just as correct as a NAACP spokesperson saying the same thing. This country is structurally racist, which has real consequences for everyone according to their skin color and ability to pass as “White.”
Given that, idk what the friend did wrong - aside from apparently talking about “The White Race,” which is always a weird thing to do, of course
I really appreciate you bringing the context back into the discussion, hot damn! Honestly, that’s a much more measured and reasonable response than my snarky comment should deserve lmao
I’m not trying to argue that the friend in OP’s story is a racist because of that comment. I do, however, think that OP probably had other reasons to cast this particular interaction as having racist intentions. I’m obviously assuming things about the situation beyond the information provided, but so is the other so-and-so that I’m being an asshole to. Only that individual is also like, harassing the teller of the story over it?
Either way I’m way too invested in this thread, hope you’re having a good day!